Subject: Work

Forever poised between a cliche and an indiscretion.

(1894 – 1986) British prime minister

I think housework is far more tiring and frightening than hunting is… and yet after hunting we had eggs for tea and were made to rest for hours, but after housework people expect one to go on just as if nothing special had happened.

(1904 – 1973) English novelist & biographer

In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Manager: Someone who doesn’t know how to do your job, who tells you how to do your job.

[Critics] search for ages for the wrong word, which, to give them credit, they eventually find.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author

Rosten’s First Law: First-rate people hire first-rate people; second-rate people hire third-rate people.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist

He who can, does; he who cannot, teaches.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

The more a recruit knows about a given subject, the better chance he has of being assigned to something else.

I'll do anything to keep from working for a living; if I've gotta fight a circus bear, then let's get the drawers on him and get it on!

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor

Critic: One quick-on-the-flaw.

I wish I had put ballet shoes on him and not boxing gloves.

Job: A state of employment everyone wants but few look forward to on a Monday morning.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer

Waiter: A guy who believes money grows on a tray.

Four hundred bucks an hour for being sort of nice to sad people.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor

When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.

Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you're finished.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working when you get up in the morning, and doesn't stop until you get into office.

(1874 – 1963) American poet

I’m too lazy to work and too scared to steal.

professional baseball player

Historians: People who won’t let bygones be bygones.

There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices… in the back you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer