Random One-Liners

Let’s face it, sports writers, we’re not hanging around with brain surgeons.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Intelligence People Sports

They're selling video cassettes of the Ali-Spinks re-match for $89.95. Hell, for that money Leon will come to your house.

boxing physician
Boxing Sports

If you were hanging from a ledge by your fingers, he'd stamp on them.

(1939 – ) English political journalist & writer
Insults

That guy has muscles in places most people don't have places.

American basketball broadcaster
Appearance Basketball Body Sports

Heart, We Did All We Could

Miscellaneous

No, no, you’ve always had that wrong about me. I really am this shallow.

(1960 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Men are my hobby; if I ever got married I'd have to give it up.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men People

Dr. Beeper: I thought you’d be the man to beat this year.

Ty Webb: I guess you’ll just have to keep beating yourself.

(1943 – ) American comedian, writer & actor
Golf TV/Movie Quotes

Well, you’ve got to take the bitter with the better.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Life

An original idea… that can’t be too hard; the library must be full of them.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Ideas Intelligence

As soon as you mention something, if it's good, it goes away; if it's bad, it happens.

Characteristics Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

Two percent don’’t get the word.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

You were 15 before you realized there was a correlation between getting beaten up every day and going to school wearing a Panama hat.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
TV/Movie Quotes

He’s got the balls and when he’s holding them he controls the tempo.

American professional tennis player
Misspokements Sports

The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Bushisms

When I drove for British teams… they called me the ‘Tadpole' because I was too small to be a frog.

French auto racer
Auto racing Sports

Newlywed: What you and your spouse will officially be considered until your first anniversary, or until you go an entire week without sex (whichever comes first).

Definitions Marriage

Codeine… bourbon…

(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Last words

I'll bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at storks.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

Victimless crime

Oxymorons

It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.

Money Murphy’s Laws