Subject: Beliefs » Religion (Page 3)

Once again, we come to the holiday season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Beliefs Religion Shopping

Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Religion Science/Weather

I’m an Atheist… thank God.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
Beliefs God Religion Wordplay

The Jews celebrate Passover by eating unpalatable food to remind them what will happen to their people if they ever leave New York City.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs New York City Places Religion

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Beliefs Education Religion

I love seeing [the Pope] in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass… that’s faith in action folks; you know he’s got God on his side.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Beliefs Religion

Heaven: The Coney Island of the Christian imagination.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Beliefs Religion

There hasn’t been a more effeminate Jew in the closet since Anne Frank.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Beliefs Religion

Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Communication Reading/Writing Religion

When deciding between two competing theories, always go with the one that doesn't involve a magic spell.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Beliefs Religion

Jesus loves you… He’s not ‘in love’ with you.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Beliefs Religion

The difference between a saint and a hypocrite is that one lies for his religion, the other by it.

(1861 – 1950) American writer
Beliefs Religion

It's interesting to speculate how it developed that in two of the most anti-feminist institutions, the church and the law court, the men are wearing the dresses.

(1916 – 2000) American lawyer & activist
Appearance Clothing Law Religion Women

Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks; you really think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a f**king cross?

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Beliefs Religion

It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Beliefs People Religion

Christian: A man who feels repentance on a Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology; until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Beliefs Religion

Megachurches – I can’t be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs Religion

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Communication Religion Speech

They always throw around this term 'the liberal elite,' and I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right; what's more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs Government Politics Religion

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Clothing Golf People Religion Sports