Subject: Age

The only difference between friends and lovers is about four minutes.

writer, website creator
Friends Old People

Money can’t buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Friends Money People Young

To what do I attribute my longevity? … bad luck.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Age Old

Adolescence is that period in a kid’s life when parents become more difficult.

(1941 – ) American actor
Age Children Family Parents

Sixty years ago I knew everything; now I know nothing.

(1885 – 1981) American writer, historian & philosopher
Age Intelligence

The boat was so old; it must have been launched when Long John Silver had two legs and an egg on his shoulder.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Age Things

I was born when my dad was 50; it’s weird growing up with a dad that much older than you… we’d go to the movies, we’re both getting discounts.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Age Family Fathers Old Young

She’ll never admit it, but I believe it is Mama.

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Age Old

Maybe a silver lining to growing old is being able to watch Usual Suspects for the first time… again.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Age Old

Say Satch, tell me, was Abraham Lincoln a crouch hitter?

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Age Baseball Old Sports

I don't need you to remind me of my age; I have a bladder to do that for me.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Age Health Old

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can’t suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Age Life Old

There are five stages in the life of an actor: Who’s Mary Astor? … Get me Mary Astor… Get me a Mary Astor type… Get me a young Mary Astor… Who’s Mary Astor?

(1906 – 1987) American actress
Acting Age Entertainment Success

You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Doctors Health

My secret to staying young… having no sense of time.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Time Young

Adolescents: People who never seem to realize that one day they will be as dumb as their parents.

Age People Young

I can do some things now that I couldn't do when I was 17, like date high school girls.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian
Age Dating Girls People Relationships Young

Growing old is compulsory – growing up is optional.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Age

Zeal: A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Young

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses… drinks right out of the bottle.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Age Food/Drink Old

I'm 34 years old; I thought I'd be divorced by now.

American comedian
Age Divorce Marriage