Subject: Age

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they're cramming for their final exam.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Age Old

The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain.

Age Proverbs Women

I feel I can talk with more authority, especially when I say, ‘I don’t know.’

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Age Old

That man so old… he’s older than his birthday.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Age Old

Pushing fifty is exercise enough


Activities Age Exercise Wordplay

Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty… but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Life

I’m 50 years of old.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Age Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

She's all done up like a well-kept grave.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Age Appearance Insults Old

There are three ages of man – youth, middle age, and ‘you're looking wonderful.’

(1889 – 1967) American bishop & cardinal of the Catholic Church
Age

Outside of a dog, a book is your best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Animals Books Communication Dogs Intelligence Reading/Writing Relationships Situations

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

(1906 – 1982) baseball player
Age Characteristics Old

What can you say when your husband says: “You can’t expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older.”

Age Old

A very short one.

(1875 – 1997) French, 120 year old woman
Age Future Time

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will sometimes produce bizarre behavior… and I’m not talking about the kids.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Family Old Parents

Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning; old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Definitions Old

Middle age is when you stop criticizing the older generation and start criticizing the younger one.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Age Definitions

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian
Age Appearance Body Old

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Age Beliefs Honesty Lies

There is still no cure for the common birthday.

(1921 – ) U.S. senator (Ohio) Marine Corps pilot & astronaut
Age Health Old

You know you're getting old when everything dries up or leaks.

Age Murphy’s Laws Old

Larry King is so old, he's actually one of the Jews that killed Christ.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Age Old People