Subject: Age

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Age Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Young

He has a profound respect for old age… especially when it’s bottled.

(1890 – 1960) journalist, author & dramatist
Age Alcohol

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Age Government People

That’s one you can tell your grandchildren about – tomorrow.

American baseball player
Age Baseball Sports

The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid; girls got pinned, not nailed.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Age Dating Sex

Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don’t think so… retired mermaids.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Age Old People Women

Adolescents: People who never seem to realize that one day they will be as dumb as their parents.

Age People Young

Until I was 13, I thought my name was ‘Shut Up.’

(1943 – ) American football player
Age Characteristics Communication Self Young

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

Age Murphy’s Laws Old

The older I grow the more I listen to people who don’t talk much.

Age Communication Old

As you grow older, you stand for more and fall for less.

Accidents Age Beliefs Old

My mother used to say: the older you get, the better you get… unless you’re a banana.

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
Age Old TV/Movie Quotes

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

Age Proverbs

There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure.

Age Old

Old Age: When you wink at a girl and she says, “Something wrong with your eyes?”

Age Definitions

I was getting dressed and a peeping Tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Body Old

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Old

Women are not forgiven for aging; Robert Redford's lines of distinction are my old-age wrinkles.

(1937 – ) American actress, writer, political activist, & fitness exponent
Age Men People Women

I'm a little kid; I'm gone 12, 13, 14 hours… I don't remember anybody coming looking for me… no Amber Alert goes off.

American comedian
Age Young

They tell you that you’ll lose your mind when you grow older; what they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it much.


Age Intelligence Mind Old

You know you’re getting older when you don’t care where your wife goes, just so you don’t have to go along

Age Marriage Old Wives