Subject: Marriage

With history one an never be certain, but I think I can safely say that Aristotle Onassis would not have married Mrs. Khrushchev.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Marriage

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Marriage Relationships Wives

Gregory: Rose, I love you and I… I want to be married to you.
Rose: Gregory, You are married to me.
Gregory: Uh… that’s right!

(1942 – ) American singer-songwriter, actress, writer, film producer & director
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Adultery: Putting yourself in someone else’s position.

Marriage Sex

I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed… I leave.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Situations Wives

Wife: A former sweetheart.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Wives

Bigamist: A man who who has had one too many.

Definitions Marriage

Retirement means twice as much husband on half as much money.

Marriage Money Wives Work

The only thing worse than a husband who never notices what you cook or what you wear is a husband who always notices what you cook and what you wear.

Appearance Cooking Food/Drink Husbands Marriage Murphy’s Laws

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window; you may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

(1922 – 2003) author & playwright
Appearance Clothing Marriage Shopping

Why do we have to go out Peg? … Isn’t it enough I know I’m married to you; do we have to tell the whole world?

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes Wives

My wife donates money to the homeless and I donate money to the topless.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Wives

If he's stuck with the shrew, I hope he screws everything that's not tied down.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Marriage Sex

Polygamy: An endeavour to get more out of life than there is in it.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Life Marriage Wives

A woman I know is engaged to a real golf nut.  They are supposed to get married next Saturday…but only if it rains.

Golf Marriage Sports

Marriage is a wonderful invention; then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Marriage

A man is incomplete until he is married; after that, he is finished.

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Marriage Men People

Will you take this woman to be your awful wedded wife?

(1914 – 1953) Welsh-born poet & writer
Communication Marriage Wordplay

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Marriage

Altar: Place where a man loses control of himself.

Definitions Marriage

She had been married so often she bought a drip-dry wedding dress.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Marriage