Subject: Food/Drink

The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is that you usually have to eat them.


Accidents Cooking Food/Drink Problems

A good appetite needs no sauce.

Food/Drink Proverbs

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Food/Drink Frugal Money

Anyone who eats three meals a day should understand why cookbooks outsell sex books three to one.

(1927 – 2007) American newspaper columnist
Books Communication Eating Food/Drink Reading/Writing Sex

Men will cook if danger is involved.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Cooking Food/Drink Men People

Sex is like death… only after death you don’t feel like a pizza.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death Food/Drink Sex

I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Food/Drink

I had one anchovy, that's why I didn't have two anchovies.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

German food is so bad, even Hitler was a vegetarian.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink

Friends don't let friends drink Light Beer. 

Beer Food/Drink

Some guy was like, 'I like the taste of orange juice and baby medicine; can we combine that?'

(1977 – ) American actor & comedian
Food/Drink

Patsy: What will you drink if you stop drinking?
Edina: I shall drink water.
Patsy: [Blank look]
Edina: It’s a mixer, Patsy, we have it with whisky.

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Eating Food/Drink

I will not eat oysters; I want my food dead… not sick… not wounded… dead.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Food/Drink

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

Appearance Body Death Eating Life Proverbs

You might be a redneck if… you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Food/Drink People Rednecks Things

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Alcohol Food/Drink

I only drink to steady my nerves… sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Get a man a beer, he drinks for five minutes – show him where they are, he drinks all day.

(1959 – ) Australian actor
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

At the all-you-can-eat barbecue, you have to pay the regular dinner price if you eat less than you can.

comedian
Eating Food/Drink

When you have bacon and eggs for breakfast, the chicken makes a contribution… the pig makes a commitment.

(1925 – 1990) Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager
Eating Food/Drink