Subject: Food/Drink

How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Appearance Body Eating Food/Drink People

Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that sometimes he has to eat them.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Communication Food/Drink Language

The food on the plane was fit for a king… “Here, King!”

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Food/Drink

Our rabbi is so poor that if he didn’t fast every Monday and Thursday, he’d starve to death.

Eating Food/Drink Money Poverty

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Alcohol Appearance Beer Body Men

We were so poor we had to eat dough for breakfast and sit out in the sun for lunch!

Eating Expressions Food/Drink Money Poverty

Hors d'oeuvres: A sandwich cut into 20 pieces.

Definitions Food/Drink

The closest I’ve been to a diet this year is erasing food searches from my browser history.


Food/Drink

There is no difference between someone who eats too little and sees Heaven and someone who drinks too much and sees snakes.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Alcohol Food/Drink

They say Flintstone's vitamins are chewable; all vitamins are chewable, it's just that they taste shitty.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics Food/Drink

You might be a redneck if…… you think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Food/Drink People

How can you tell when sour cream goes bad?

Food/Drink Situations

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking.

(1919 – 2011) American news commentator & writer
Cooking Eating Food/Drink

Casserole: A method used by ingenious cooks to get rid of leftovers.

Definitions Food/Drink

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Food/Drink Hollywood Marriage Time

I was once so broke I forgot whether you cut steak with a knife or drank it with a spoon.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Food/Drink Money Poverty

God created alcohol just to stop the Irish from ruling the world.

(1956 – ) English actor
Alcohol Food/Drink People

Smith to witness: So, you were as drunk as a judge?
Judge (interjecting): You mean as drunk as a lord?
Smith: Yes, My Lord.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: eat out.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Eating Food/Drink Housework

The one ingredient you made a special trip to the store to get will be the one thing your guest is allergic to.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Sleep… the most beautiful experience in life – except drink.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Situations Sleep