Subject: Time

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Murphy’s Laws Time

Faster than a dog's tail in a meat market.

Expressions Time

I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday; I’ll tell you what… never again.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Activities Time

When working on a project, if you put away a tool that you're certain you're finished with, you will need it instantly.

Murphy’s Laws Things Time

It’s not only a race against the clock but a race against time itself.

Misspokements Time

History is the sum total of things that could have been avoided.

(1876 – 1967) German statesman
History Time

It is a mistake to let any mechanical object realize that you are in a hurry.

Murphy’s Laws Things Time

It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Future Yogi-isms

The same thing happened today that happened yesterday, only to different people.

(1897 – 1972) broadcast journalist & gossip columnist
People Time

History: The version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.

Definitions History Time

If, in the course of several months, if only three worthwhile social events take place, they will all fall on the same evening.

Time

When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions Love Time

If you try to pop the unpopped kernels in the microwave, you go back in time.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Time

I bought a clock, but the big hand broke off of it… so I just added “ish” to every number.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Time

When it’s three o’clock in New York, it’s still 1938 in London.

(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian
England Places Time

If you are truly serious about preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract – teach him to deduct.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Education Future Learning

Absolutum obsoletum – if it works, it’s out of date.

(1926 – 2002) British management theorist & professor
Murphy’s Laws Time

The amount of time required to complete a government project is precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it.

Government Murphy’s Laws Time

I went to the 24-hour grocer; when I got there, the guy was locking the front and I said, ‘Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours.’ He said, ‘Yes, but not in a row.’

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Situations Time

You always say 'I'll quit when I start to slide,' and then one morning you wake up and realize you done slid.

(1921 – 1989) American boxing champion
Future Time

It would appear that we have reached the limits of what it is possible to achieve with computer technology, although one should be careful with such statements, as they tend to sound pretty silly in 5 years.

(1903 – 1957) Hungarian-American mathematician
Computers Future Science/Weather Things Time