Subject: Time

A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body – the wishbone.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Life Time

This evening is a very different evening from the morning we had this morning.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Time

Good Old Days: What people fifty years hence will be calling the present time.

Definitions Past Time

History is more or less bunk.

(1863 – 1947) automobile industrialist
History Time

Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Age Men Time Women

The amount of sleep needed by the average person is five minutes more.

typographer
Activities Situations Sleep Time

The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only more expensive.

(1937 – 2000) science fiction author
Future Money Past Time

So what if I can’t spell Armaggedon? … it’s not the end of the world.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Time

No matter what time your guests arrive, pretend they’re early, so naturally you’re not ready.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
People Time

I Xeroxed my watch… now I have time to spare.


Things Time

Shirley Temple had charisma as a child… but it cleared up as an adult.

(1930 – 1978) American comedian
Characteristics Time

Nothing is improbable until it moves into past tense.

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician
Situations Time

Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Government Time

Time: The arbitrary division of eternity.

Definitions Time

I didn’t think prohibition would last that long.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Time

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Alcohol Death Food/Drink Time

I love my Fed-Ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it…and he's always on time.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities Drugs Time

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.

Communication History Murphy’s Laws Speech

My parents only had one argument in forty-five years; it lasted forty-three years.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Conflict Parents Relationships Time

He took us forty years into the desert in order to bring us to the one place in the Middle East that has no oil!

(1898 – 1978) Israeli prime minister
History People Situations

What history teaches us is that men have never learned anything from it.

(1770 – 1831) German philosopher
History Time