Subject: Sex

Too much of a good thing can be taxing.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

We tried it twice and it worked both times.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist

Abstinence makes the heart go wander.

Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor

Sex again Peg? … we’ve been married seventeen years now; can’t we just be friends?

(1946 – ) American actor

Sex is like money; only too much is enough.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic

Men are only as loyal as their options.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator

I’m so frightened of disease that it’s to the point I won’t have sex with someone… unless they say… you know… “Okay.”

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress

When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky… a woman already knows.

I have lowered my expectations, sexually; I don’t care what happens in bed anymore as long as I don’t make any grammatical errors.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor

I took a girl out on a date the other night and I knew it wasn't gonna go anywhere sexually, you know, because I was out of chloroform and rags.

(1961 – ) American actor & comedian

I sold the memoirs of my sex life to a publisher – they are going to make a board game out of it.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

I have this! Are you interested?

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer

It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins.

Wife Swapping: Sexual fourplay.

Yes, I haven’t had enough sex.

(1906 – 1984) English poet, writer & broadcaster

I figured out I’m bisexual; I have sex twice a year.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

There is nothing wrong with making love with the light on… just make sure the car door is closed.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Hooker: A working woman commonly despised by people who sell themselves for even less.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter

If Miss means respectably unmarried, and Mrs. respectably married, then Ms. means nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

(1940 – 1992) English writer

You [women] like mystery, ‘cause it’s not a mystery to you; you know when you’re gonna get laid.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator