Subject: Sex

I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.

(1895 – 1972) American director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation
Government Sex

I'm a great lover… I bet.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Beliefs Opinion Sex

I had to go by the drug store to get some marital aids: breath mints for you and Wild Turkey for me!

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Make Your Own Sex Toys (A Practical Guide to a Better Love Life)

Book Titles Sex

Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing was happening, so I said to her, “What’s the matter, you can’t think of anybody either?”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Sex

Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Eating Food/Drink Sex

She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
People Sex

Nothing risqué, nothing gained.

(1887 – 1943) theater critic & commentator
Characteristics Language Sex

England is the only country in the world where the food is more dangerous than the sex.

(1934 – ) comedian
Food/Drink Places Sex

… geronomous zones and the floorplay, you spoil all the waddya call the mystiqueries of things.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops Sex

I don’t care for sex; I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise; I prefer sports, where you can win.

(1963 – ) Canadian writer, actor & stand-up comedian
Sex Sports

Self-abuse is the sincerest kind.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Activities Self Sex

My favorite [sexual] position is called the plumber… you stay in all day, and nobody comes.

(1923 – 2009) British barrister, dramatist, screenwriter & author
Sex

How would you like to have a sexual encounter so intense it could conceivably change your political views?

(1966 – ) American film actor, producer & screenwriter
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Sow wild oats

Sex

Impotent: Willy-nilly.

Definitions Sex

I have this! Are you interested?

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Relationships Sex

They say the best exercise takes place in the bedroom; I believe it, because that's where I get the most resistance.

comedian
Activities Exercise Sex

All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian, writer & director
Alcohol Beer Communication Men Sex Speech

The Catholics have an interesting view of sex; it is disgusting, amoral and filthy and you should save it for one you love.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian & filmmaker
Beliefs Religion Sex

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older… little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman—stuff you pay good money for in later life.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Age Life Sex