Subject: Sex

In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.

(1754 – 1838) French prime minister & diplomat
People Sex

Familiarity breeds contempt; but familiarity breeds!

Proverbs Sex

Of course a platonic relationship is possible, but only between husband and wife.


Marriage Relationships Sex

Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Husbands Marriage Sex

I’m not a good lover, but at least I’m fast.

(1958 – ) standup comedian, actor, game show host & photographer
Sex

I went to buy some condoms today, and I said to the pharmacist, 'Excuse me, I need some condoms;' and he said, 'Just a minute,' and I said, 'Oh, that's my brand.'

American comedian & actor
Sex Shopping Situations

In every group of girlfriends, there’s that one who is the sluttiest; if you don’t have that friend, you’re that friend.

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Girlfriends People Sex

I was [having sex] with this girl… and it was pretty wild; I explained to her that I’d not had it in 2 years because I’d been in the VD clinic.. she replied ‘How’s the food? … I’m going in tomorrow!’

(1948 – ) British stand-up comedian
Health Sex

Any idiot can get laid when they’re famous… that’s easy… it’s getting laid when you’re not famous that takes some talent.

(1958 – ) American film & theater actor
Sex Success

People think I hate sex; I don’t; I just don’t like things that stop you seeing the television properly.

(1953 – 2016) British comedian, actress, singer & screenwriter
Entertainment Sex Television

The vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Dance Entertainment Music Sex

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say 'No' in any of them.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Insults Intelligence Sex

I tell ya, my wife, we get along good cause we have our own arrangement; I mean, one night a week I go out with the boys and one night a week, she goes out with the boys.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Wives

If men knew how to do it, they wouldn’t have to pay for it.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Men Money People Sex

Group sex… are you kidding, I had group sex… my wife screwed me in front of the jury.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Divorce Marriage Sex Wives

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, nobody's home, so I went over… nobody was home.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Sex Situations

Hannah: Excessive masturbation?

Mickey: You gonna start knockin’ my hobbies?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Pedophiles don't want to be called pedophiles; they want to be called priests.

American stand-up comedian
Sex

A birth-control pill for men, that's fair. It makes more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bulletproof vest.

American actor & comedian
Men People Sex

It is not true that sex degrades women… if it is any good.

(1965 – ) English comedian
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

My grandmother died having sex… I still cry every time I watch the video.

(Uncle Lar) American comedian
Age Family Sex