Subject: Work

Love is the only industry which can't operate on a five-day week.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Those who cannot teach – administrate.

You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic

It is much harder to find a job than to keep one.

Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy.

(1893 – 1935) U.S. governor & senator (Louisiana)

The longer the title, the less important the job.

I did end up doing substitute teaching, but there’s not a lot of teaching involved in that.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor

Auctioneer: The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

Philosopher: One who, instead of crying over spilt milk, consoles himself with the thought that it was over four-fifths water.

It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and stare at the cart girl's tits all day if you are performing brain surgery.

If not controlled, work will flow to the competent man until he submerges.

A professional is a man who can do his job when he doesn’t feel like it; an amateur is a man who can’t do his job when he does feel like it.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic

Dinosaurs with Jobs

Cooperation can only be reached if we work together.

Ninety-nine per cent of the work of the professional bodyguard consisted of one activity: frowning.

(1949 – ) English novelist

He worked like hell in the country so he could live in the city, where he worked like hell so he could live in the country.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author

A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handy man with a sense of humus.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist

Authors want their names down in history; I want to keep the smoke coming out of the chimney.

(1918 – 2006) American writer

There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

The first myth of management is that it exists.
The second myth of management is that success equals skill.
Corollary (Johnson) – Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere within your organization.