Subject: Work

I started my career in kindergarten playing a tube of toothpaste in a hygiene play.

(1945 – ) American actor, director, comedian, producer & author
Acting Entertainment Occupations Work

There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Entertainment Work

No one wants to hear about the labor pains, they just want to see the baby.

(1939 – ) American baseball player
Success Work

One thing about being a cabbie is that you don’t have to worry about being fired from a good job.

(1935 – ) American actor
Occupations TV/Movie Quotes Work

Losing my virginity was a career move.

(1958 – ) American singer, actress & entrepreneur
Sex Work

If you think you can, you’re right; and if you think you can’t, you’re right.

(1918 – 2001) American businesswoman & founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics
Success Work

Do they give pilots crash courses in flight school?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Occupations Wordplay Work

I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.

(1940 – ) English politician
Work

Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day’s work.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Work

Who says nothing is impossible?… some people do it every day!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Work

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'whose?'

Money Wealth Work

Acting is merely the art of keeping a large number of people from coughing.

(1902 – 1983) English actor
Acting Entertainment Occupations

You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Housework Things Time Work

If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person – they will find an easier way to do it.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Work

Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.

Money Murphy’s Laws Work

Sailors ought never to go to church; they ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

(1866 – 1946) English author
Occupations Work

The only reason people work for airlines is because the Nazi party is no longer hiring.

(1983 – ) American comedian
Occupations Work

Only a fool can reproduce another fool’s work.

Fools Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Work

When I was younger, my mother told me, "Mitch, some day you're going to have to move out of the house and get a job" … well, today is the day, that's why I'm here with you people.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Situations Work

If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes Work

I live in a two-income household… but who knows how long my mom can keep that up.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Family Money Mothers Travel Work