Subject: Work

The one time during the day you lean back and relax is the one time the boss walks by.

Murphy’s Laws Work

I started my career in kindergarten playing a tube of toothpaste in a hygiene play.

(1945 – ) American actor, director, comedian, producer & author
Acting Entertainment Occupations Work

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Health People Self Work

If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now.

(1982 – ) American author
Work

There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Entertainment Work

Tailor: An occupation that suits everyone.

Definitions Occupations Work

Ninety-nine per cent of the work of the professional bodyguard consisted of one activity: frowning.

(1949 – ) English novelist
Occupations Work

You think when gym teachers are younger, they’re thinking, “You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read?”

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Education Occupations Work

People are still willing to do an honest day's work; the trouble is they want a week's pay for it.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Money Time Work

I don’t want to live on in my work, I want to live on in my apartment.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Life Work

If you have a choice of selling shoes to ladies or giving birth to a flaming porcupine… look into that second, less painful career.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Situations Work

The speed of exit of a civil servant is directly proportional to the quality of his service.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Work

There's no business like show business… but there are several businesses like accounting.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Entertainment Occupations Work

Expert: An ordinary man away from home giving advice.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Occupations People

A neurotic is a person who builds a castle in the air; a psychotic is the person who lives in it; a psychiatrist is the one who collects the rent.

(1915 – 2004) American playwright & author
Occupations People Work

Historian: An editor of yesterday’s news.

Definitions History Occupations Time Work

Living up to ideals is like doing everyday work with your Sunday clothes on.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Appearance Clothing Life Work

A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

(1911 – ) American editor & writer
Government Occupations

People become progressively less competent for jobs they once were well equipped to handle.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

Never take a reference from a clergyman; they always want to give someone a second chance.

People Work

Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Education Misspokements Occupations