Subject: Work

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Autos Occupations People Situations Women Work

Gourmet: A food fetishist.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations

Since I didn't want to go round mugging old ladies or robbing banks, I took up boxing.

English boxer
Boxing Occupations Sports Work

Retire? … I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Entertainment Old Work

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Individuals Work

To err is human; to loaf, Parisian.

(1802 – 1885) French writer
People Places Work

Historian: An editor of yesterday’s news.

Definitions History Occupations Time Work

Boss: A personal dictator appointed to those of us fortunate enough to live in free societies.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

Economist: A man who knows more about money than the people who have it.

Definitions Occupations People

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.

(1880 – ?) American author
Situations Work

History repeats itself; historians repeat each other.

(1889 – 1944) English historian
History Occupations Time

Statistician: Someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

Definitions Occupations Work

Strip Teaser: One who makes a bare living.

Body Definitions Occupations

An economist is someone who, on being shown something that works in practice, wonders if it would work in theory.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Occupations Work

A professional is a man who can do his job when he doesn’t feel like it; an amateur is a man who can’t do his job when he does feel like it.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Work

Manicurist: A girl who makes money hand over fist.

Definitions Occupations Work

Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Occupations People Self Work

I used to work at a factory where they made hydrants; but you couldn't park anywhere near the place.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Things Work

Much work, much food; little work, little food; no work, burial at sea.

Food/Drink Life Murphy’s Laws Work

Never call an accountant a credit to his profession a good accountant is a debit to his profession.

(1797 – 1875) American accountant
Occupations Work

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication Wordplay Work