Subject: Life

That's the secret to life… replace one worry with another.

cartoon character, Peanuts, Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000) cartoonist
Life

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks.

(1841–1919) French artist
Food/Drink Life Murphy’s Laws

Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Art Entertainment Life Television

How young can you die of old age?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Death Life Old Young

There are no winners in life; only survivors.

Life Murphy’s Laws

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.

(1889 – 1977) English comedian, actor & film director
Emotions Entertainment Film Life

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Food/Drink Health Life

Do not punish yourself, you deprive the world of its purpose.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Life Self

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

Characteristics God Life

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Activities Life Sports

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can’t suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Age Life Old

Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.

(1978 – ) American writer
Life

Almost everything in life is easier to get into than out of.

Life Murphy’s Laws

Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today; it’s already tomorrow in Australia.

(1922  – 2000) American cartoonist (Peanuts)
Life

Kids: get away from the cell phones, get away from the computers, and mail someone a fish before it’s too late.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”
Life

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade… and then throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you originally asked for.

(1973 – ) American author of young adult fiction,
Life Problems

Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Life

To better understand why you need a personal computer, let’s take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Computers Life Things

It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Life Marriage

Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell; the other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth, and you should save it for someone you love.

(1945 – ) American country/folk musician & song writer
Beliefs Life Places Religion Sex

Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.

Carl Sandburg (1878 – 1967) biographer & poet
Life