Subject: Life

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Death Emotions Happiness Laughter Life

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Animals Characteristics Life

Nothing is easy.

Life Murphy’s Laws Problems

Never do anything you wouldn’t get caught dead doing.

Life Murphy’s Laws

Longevity: Uncommon extension of the fear of death.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Death Definitions Language Life

The harsh truth is that the cause of death is birth.

(1937 – ) English painter, printmaker, stage designer & photographer
Death Life

Man can not live by bread alone … he must have peanut butter.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Food/Drink Life

If you didn’t forget it, it’s the wrong size, backwards, inside out or out of reach.

Life Murphy’s Laws

We all learn by experience, but some of us have to go to summer school.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Education Learning Life School

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.

(1889 – 1977) English comedian, actor & film director
Emotions Entertainment Film Life

Much work, much food; little work, little food; no work, burial at sea.

Food/Drink Life Murphy’s Laws Work

It’s a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Life

To expect life to treat you good is as foolish as hoping a bull won’t hit you because you are a vegetarian.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Intelligence Life

The trick is growing up without growing old.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Life Old

Life can be a bitch so at least try not to fall in love with one.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Life Relationships

I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Girls Life Sex

Spiritual is the word people use when they mean they want to be covered when they die but they’re not getting up early on a Sunday.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Death Life

Aren’t I lucky, to have survived so much bad luck.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Characteristics Life

Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Life

It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Life Marriage

If humor was the foundation of my life, men were definitely the first floor.

(1946 – 1989) comedian & actress
Emotions Life Men People