Subject: Life

The follies which a man regrets most in his life are those which he didn’t commit when he had the opportunity.

Life Murphy’s Laws Situations

If I can’t have it all, can I at least have some of yours?

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Life Situations

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

Appearance Body Death Eating Life Proverbs

I think I am, therefore I am… I think.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Intelligence Life

To the question: Do married people live longer?

Fields responded: No, it just seems longer.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Life Marriage Time

Living up to ideals is like doing everyday work with your Sunday clothes on.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Appearance Clothing Life Work

I wanna live ’til I die, no more, no less.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Life

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

Life Money

The reports on human progress are beginning to come in, and some are a little discouraging.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Life People

Life: A party you join after it has started and leave before it’s finished.

(1883 – 1963) American writer & hostess
Life

Any man who has $10,000 left when he dies is a failure.

(1909 – 1959) Australian-born American actor
Death Life Money

We live in a world where John Lennon was murdered, yet Barry Manilow continues to put out f**king albums.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Life

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra; in real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Education Learning Life Science/Weather

It’s a dog-eat-dog world, Sammy, and I’m wearing Milk-Bone underwear.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Life Problems TV/Movie Quotes

What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Life

The four stages of a man are infancy, childhood, adolescence and obsolescence.

(1912 – 2010) Canadian-born American radio & television personality & humorist
Age Life Old Young

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Food/Drink Life Murphy’s Laws Time

Living in a vacuum sucks.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker
Characteristics Life

Life is a game, the object of which is to discover the object of the game.

Games Life Murphy’s Laws

[doorbell rings] Peg, could you get that? It’s probably the ‘Homeless: It Could Be Worse’ Tour.

(1946 – ) American actor
Life TV/Movie Quotes

The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the devil’s own satanic herd!

(1955 – ) English actor
Life Problems TV/Movie Quotes