Subject: Life

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

I’m kind of jealous of the life I’m supposedly leading.

(1975 – ) actor, director, screenwriter & producer

Life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles… with sniffles predominating.

William Sydney Porter (1862 – 1910) American writer

Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence

Life is uncertain… eat dessert first.

(1925 – ) American writer

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

I intend to live forever… or die trying.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

There are two tragedies in life; one is not to get your heart’s desire, the other is to get it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer

If your time ain’t come, not even a doctor can kill you.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.

Carl Sandburg (1878 – 1967) biographer & poet

I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

I am one of those people who just can’t help getting a kick out of life – even when it’s a kick in the teeth.

(1900 – 1962) Russian – Jewish madam & author

You live and learn… at any rate, you live.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician

I never did say that you can’t be a nice guy and win; I said that if I was playing third base and my mother rounded third with the winning run, I’d trip her.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager

I like life… it's something to do.

comedian

I’ve developed a new philosophy… I’m only going to dread one day at a time.

cartoon character, Peanuts, Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000) cartoonist

Life: A play with a lousy third act.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.