Subject: Relationships

I grew up with six brothers; that’s how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Dance Entertainment Relationships

[Kerry is trying to figure out how to break up with Kyle] Bridget: Just use the line I use when I break up with a guy.

Kerry: “I’m only seventeen, you’ll go to jail”?

(1979 – ) American actress
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from… you heterosexuals.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
Family Relationships

I had to go back to New York recently for a family reunion… I walk in there, I look at everyone, and I think: 'I'm getting my tubes tied; that's it; the tree ends here.'

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Intelligence Relationships

I just want somebody who gets me. Somebody who’s comfortable in my world, and makes me laugh, and occasionally brings me flowers. And… somebody who likes kittens, and the hard-core bondage scene.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

My parents only had one argument in forty-five years; it lasted forty-three years.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Conflict Parents Relationships Time

At my age, an affair of the heart is a bypass.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Health Old Relationships

It’s not a date. We’re just agreeing to eat at the same table.

(1942 – ) American singer-songwriter, actress, writer, film producer & director
Dating Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in the company of: 1. a date, 2.his wife, 3. a better looking and richer male friend.

Dating Men Murphy’s Laws Relationships Women

A man leaves a woman for another woman, but a woman leaves a man for herself.


Men People Relationships Women

The major concrete achievement of the women's movement in the 1970s was the Dutch treat.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Dating Money

It’s kinda like grandkids: you just abuse them and turn them back in.

American stand-up comedian
Relationships Situations

Drink ‘til she’s cute, but stop before the wedding.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Alcohol Dating Relationships

My computer dating bureau came up with a perfect gentleman; still, I've got another three goes.


Dating Relationships

You might be a redneck if… your brother-in-law is your uncle AND your grandfather.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Relationships

Go, and never darken my towels again.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Relationships

If someone had told me years ago that sharing a sense of humor was so vital to partnerships, I could have avoided a lot of sex.

(1973 – ) English actress
Relationships Sex

He gave her a look you could have poured on a waffle.

(1885 – 1933) columnist & writer
Relationships Situations

Society honors its living conformists and its dead troublemakers.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
People Relationships

I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Dating People Relationships Self Sex

About age 30 most women think about having children, most men think about dating them.

American comedian & motivational speaker
Children Dating Family Men People Travel Women