Subject: Emotions

Any man who hates dogs and babies can’t be all bad.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Animals Dogs Emotions People

I lost my mood ring and now I don't how to feel about it.

(1968 – ) American actor & comedian
Emotions Things

I told my girl friend that unless she expressed her feelings and told me what she liked I wouldn’t be able to please her, so she said, “Get off me.”

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Emotions

Airline travel is hours of boredom interrupted by moments of stark terror.

disc jockey, screenwriter & humorist
Activities Emotions Fear Travel

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Emotions God Love Marriage

Money is not the most important thing in the world, love is… fortunately, I love money.

(1934 – ) comedian
Emotions Love Money

The Englishman who has lost his fortune is said to have died of a broken heart.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Emotions England Money People Places Wealth

Happiness is the interval between periods of unhappiness.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Emotions Happiness Time

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages, but love accounts for the other third.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Emotions Love Marriage

Your picture's in my wallet and I'm sitting on it – if that isn't love I don't know what is.

(1939 – 2000) American actor
Love

My grandfather used to make home movies and edit out the joy.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions Family Happiness

Ways to Relieve Stress #10: Make up a language and ask people for directions.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Emotions Language

Nobody ever had to steal Georgie's affections – he gave them away at the drop of a skirt.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Emotions Sex

A lot of people are afraid of heights, but not me… I'm afraid of widths.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Fear People

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Emotions Happiness

We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for ours to amuse them.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Emotions Friends Love People

The only really happy folk are married women and single men.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Happiness

If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Accidents Alcohol Emotions Laughter

When angry count four; when very angry, swear.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Emotions Speech

A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Love Men People Women

My girlfriend always laughs during sex… no matter what she’s reading.

(1955 –2011) business magnate, co-founder & CEO of Apple
Emotions Girlfriends Laughter Relationships Sex