Subject: Beliefs

My dad was old school Jewish… not do your taxes Jewish – steal your car Jewish.

American comedian & actor
Beliefs Religion

He’s so crooked that when he dies, they’re going to have to screw him into the ground.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage.

(1942 – 1999) American actress
Beliefs Marriage Sex

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

(1946 – ) filmmaker, actor & writer
Religion Sex

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce.

(1563 – 1608) Italian Catholic priest
Beliefs Cooking England Food/Drink Places Religion

Propaganda is the art of persuading others of what one does not believe oneself.

(1915 – 2002) Israeli diplomat & politician
Beliefs Communication Opinion

If God, as some now say, is dead, He no doubt died of trying to find an equitable solution to the Arab-Jewish problem.

(1907 – 1989) American writer
Beliefs God Government

That which we call sin in others is experimentation for us.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Beliefs Characteristics

If only God would give me some clear sign! … like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs God Money Situations

A bare assertion is not necessarily the naked truth.

(1802 – 1870) American writer & editor
Characteristics Honesty Truth

If you call on God to improve the results of a shot while it is still in motion, you are using “an outside agency” and subject to appropriate penalties under the rules of golf.

British golf writer & commentator
God Golf Sports

Jerry, just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it.

(1959 – ) American actor, director, writer, singer & comedian
Beliefs Honesty Lies TV/Movie Quotes

Conservative: A liberal who has just been mugged.

Beliefs Definitions

Having something to say is overrated.

American writer
Beliefs Communication Opinion

Free advice is worth the price.

businessman
Beliefs Money Opinion

Always behave as if nothing had happened, no matter what has happened.

1867 – 1931) English novelist
Beliefs Situations

‘Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed’ was the ninth beatitude.

(1688 – 1744) English poet
Beliefs

He is a man of his most recent word.

(1925 – 2008) American conservative author, commentator & television host
Beliefs Communication Opinion

Catholicism is the most adhesive religion in the world; if you joined the Taliban, you’d merely be regarded as a bad Catholic.

(1972 – ) Irish comedian & television presenter
Beliefs Religion

An independent is a guy who wants to take the politics out of politics.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Beliefs Government Opinion Politics

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Opinion People