Subject: Beliefs

Flattery is the sincerest form of lying.

Honesty Lies Murphy’s Laws

Fruit… it's just God showing off… “Look at all the colors I know!”

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs God

People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news.

(1904 – 1963) American journalist
Beliefs Communication Facts Reading/Writing

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you; tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws

As you grow older, you stand for more and fall for less.

Accidents Age Beliefs Old

It [feminism] is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.

(1930 – ) American Southern Baptist minister, executive & media mogul
Beliefs Stupidity Women

That politician is so crooked he can hide behind a corkscrew.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

Jesus loves you… He’s not ‘in love’ with you.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Beliefs Religion

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Beliefs People Religion

If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical methods.

Beliefs Facts Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Opinion

I wanted to do a show about feminism… but my husband wouldn’t let me.


Beliefs

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

(1844 – 1900) German philosopher
Beliefs

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

Beliefs Definitions Honesty Lies

Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Beliefs

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Alcohol Beer Emotions Food/Drink God Happiness

As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
God Intelligence Wisdom

If you treat people right they will treat you right… ninety percent of the time.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Characteristics Honesty People

Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good – stop.’

American actor & comedian
Beliefs Religion

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord it ain't the gout.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
God Health

The truth is more important than the facts.

(1867 – 1959) architect, interior designer, writer & educator
Beliefs Facts Honesty Truth