Subject: Beliefs

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Characteristics Facts Science/Weather

He’d steal flies from a blind spider.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

Isn’t it funny how everyone in favor of abortion has already been born.

(1956 – ) English actor
Beliefs

Science: An orderly arrangement of what, at the moment, seems to be the facts.

Beliefs Definitions Facts Science/Weather

The sheer immensity of the human self as envisioned by the world’s religions is awesome.

(1919 – ) American religious studies scholar
Beliefs People Religion Self

Reparation: Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Money

You know, just once I’d like to hear a player say, ‘Yeah, we were in the game – until Jesus made me fumble; he hates our team.’

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Sports

Fruit… it’s just God showing off… “Look at all the colors I know!”

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs God

Isn’t it great to live in a society where the penalty for lying to a congressman can be up to 30 years in jail, but the penalty for a congressman lying to you is another two years in office.

(1955 – ) American sportswriter
Beliefs Congress Golf Government Honesty Law Lies

For every little kid who still believes in Santa Claus, there is at least one adult who still believes in professional wrestling.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Activities Beliefs Entertainment

I wouldn’t speak to her if I met her in hell and she was carrying ice.

Expressions Insults Opinion

I never give advice – I give warnings to live by.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Beliefs

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Beliefs

People will believe anything if you whisper it.

Beliefs Communication Murphy’s Laws

It takes two to lie, Marge. One to lie and one to listen.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Lies TV/Movie Quotes

The groundhog is like most other prophets; it delivers its prediction and then disappears.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Beliefs Opinion

… the less a man knows, the more sure it is that he knows everything.

(1888 – 1957) English writer
Beliefs Intelligence People

If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Honesty Truth

I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don’t notice it.

(1944 – ) American author & activist
Beliefs

A dead atheist is someone who’s all dressed up with no place to go.

James Duffecy (1912 – 1983) Australian evangelist
Beliefs Religion

If you don’t like my opinion of you, you can always improve.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Beliefs Characteristics Opinion