Subject: Science/Weather

The vehicle in front of you is traveling slower than you are.

Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the bulb and the other to hold his penis… sorry – I mean ladder.

(1965 – ) British-Iranian comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather

It is so hot… I saw a robin dipping his worm in iced tea.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Heat Science/Weather

The progress of science varies inversely with the number of journals published.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing Science/Weather

It was so cold… when we milked the cows, we got ice cream.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software.

(1917 – ) English physicist & science fiction author
Computers Science/Weather Sex Things

There's no place like home.com!

Science/Weather

Space isn’t remote at all; it’s only an hours drive away if your car could go straight upwards.

(1915 – 2001) English astronomer & mathematician
Science/Weather

It is best to read the weather forecast before we pray for rain.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Intelligence Science/Weather

Last night, it was so cold, the flashers in New York were only describing themselves.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Cold New York City Places Science/Weather Situations

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Language Science/Weather

The cloning of humans is on most of the lists of things to worry about from science, along with behavior control, genetic engineering, transplanted heads, computer poetry and the unrestrained growth of plastic flowers.


Problems Science/Weather

Any man that has never seen a baby emerge from another person’s body will walk around for months just going, ‘Oh my God; what else don’t I know about Planet Earth?’

(1955 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & impressionist
Children Family Science/Weather

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Science/Weather

A lot of people like snow, but I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.

(1922 – ) actor, film director, producer, writer & comedian
Science/Weather

Autumn is the most beautiful time of the year to the person who has no leaves to rake.

Science/Weather

Large Celestial Object Stuns Astronomers

Headlines Science/Weather

USA Today has come out with a new survey; apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Facts People Science/Weather

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Body Mothers Science/Weather

Men and women belong to different species, and communication between them is a science still in its infancy.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication Men People Science/Weather Women

As I looked out into the night sky, across all those infinite stars, it made me realize how insignificant they are.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Science/Weather