Subject: Science/Weather

Calculus: The branch of mathematics that is so scary it causes everybody to stop studying mathematics.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Definitions Science/Weather

The remaining distance to your chosen campsite remains constant as twilight approaches.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

In Alaska, we have just two seasons — this winter and next winter.

(1897 – 1991) American Air Force General
Places Science/Weather

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

Definitions Science/Weather

Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Past Science/Weather Time

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Misspokements Science/Weather

Great moments in science: Einstein discovers that time is actually money.

(1950 – ) American cartoonist The Far Side
Money Science/Weather

I love the idea of there being two sexes, don't you?

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Appearance Body Science/Weather

Technology: The knack of so arranging the world that we need not experience it.

(1911 – 1991) Swiss playwright & novelist
Definitions Science/Weather

You might be a redneck if… you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three primary colors.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Science/Weather

I ran into Isosceles; he has a great idea for a new triangle!

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Science/Weather

Every scientific truth goes through three states: first, people say it conflicts with the Bible; next, they say it has been discovered before; lastly, they say they always believed it.

(1807 – 1873) paleontologist, glaciologist & geologist
Beliefs Facts Science/Weather

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Places Science/Weather

Hotter than a depot stove

Expressions Science/Weather

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it.

American entrepreneur
Science/Weather

We’re not used to weather in June in this country.

professional football player, coach & executive
England Misspokements Places Science/Weather

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Science/Weather

Man is the animal that intends to shoot himself out into interplanetary space, after having given up on the problem of an efficient way to get himself five miles to work and back each day.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
People Science/Weather

What goes up must come down… but don't expect it to come down where you can find it.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Science/Weather

He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.

(1844 – 1912) Scottish poet, novelist & literary critic
Communication Intelligence Science/Weather

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

Family Relationships Science/Weather