Subject: Science/Weather

You might be a redneck if… you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three primary colors.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Science/Weather

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Health Old Science/Weather

It was so cold… the kids at school were using flannel notebooks.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Science/Weather

Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Facts Science/Weather

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

It was so hot in Beverly Hills, people were frying egg whites on the sidewalk.

American comedian
Heat Science/Weather

If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.

Facts Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

A hurricane you can watch come at you for a week on the TV, and you don't get out of the way; a tornado – you're just in a trailer making meth; next thing you know, it's tipped over.

Canadian comedian
Science/Weather

Winter is nature’s way of saying, “Up yours.”

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Science/Weather

It was so cold… we didn't clean the house – we just defrosted it.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Bad weather reports are more often right than good ones.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what you want it to do.

Science/Weather

It was so cold… politicians stopped blowing hot air.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

It is hard for the ape to believe that he has descended from man.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Animals People Science/Weather

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.


(1829 – 1900) American essayist & novelist
Science/Weather

Cancun Temps Plunge to 100-Year Record Low During ‘Global Warming’ Summit!

Headlines Science/Weather

I went to Moscow once; it was so cold at night one guy fell out of bed and broke his pajamas.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Cold Places Science/Weather

The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

Body Cold Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Situations

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself… and you are the easiest person to fool.

(1918 – 1988) American physicist
People Science/Weather Self

Space isn’t remote at all; it’s only an hours drive away if your car could go straight upwards.

(1915 – 2001) English astronomer & mathematician
Science/Weather