Subject: Education

College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.

(1974 – ) American comedian
Education School

According to a new geographic literacy study 4 out of 10 American students couldn't find Iraq on a map; however 10 out of 10 Mexicans could find the U.S. without a map.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Education Places

Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge… others only gargle.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Education

When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important will be illegible.

Education Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing School

How is education going to make me smarter?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Education TV/Movie Quotes

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

(1919 – 2000) Canadian prime minister & politician
Communication School Speech

A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant one.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Education Fools Intelligence Stupidity

When I was recruited at Auburn, they took me to a strip joint; when I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Education School Sports

Never let your studies interfere with your education.

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws School

“The top half of the students are well-educated, the bottom half receive extra help, but the middle half we are leaving out.”

Education Headlines

When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Education School Time

He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Communication Education Ideas Insults Intelligence Speech

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Education Ideas Intelligence

Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

Education Learning Memory

We learn from experience that men never learn from experience.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Education Learning

A lot of people think kids say the darnedest things, but so would you if you had no education.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Children Communication Education Family Speech

Teacher: A person who swore she would starve before teaching, and who has been doing both ever since.

Definitions Education

Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public; they can learn in private; in public they have to know.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Learning Men People

You might be a redneck if… your dad walks you to school because you’re in the same grade.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education Family Fathers People Rednecks School

Education is when you read the fine print; experience is what you get if you don’t.

(1919 – ) American folk singer
Education

Money enables a man to get along without an education, and education enables him to get along without money.

writer
Education Money