Subject: Education

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Computers Dogs School Things

How can you tell if a Korean broke into your house?… your dog is missing, and your homework is done.

(1962 – ) American television host, actress & comedian
Animals Dogs People School

Don’t marry a man to reform him; that’s what reform schools are for.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Marriage Men School

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Education

When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Education School Sex

My recipe for bad grades: don't study.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
Education School

Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace.


Education Learning

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education he may steal the whole railroad.

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president
Conflict Crime Education

The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

(1888 – 1964) American folklorist, writer & newspaper columnist
Education Ideas Intelligence School

With one or two exceptions, colleges expect their players of games to be reasonably literate.

(1898 – 1971) English classical scholar & academic
Education School Sports

Education with socialists: it’s like sex, all right so long as you don’t have to pay for it

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Education Sex

If we really learned from our past mistakes, most of us would never get out of bed in the morning.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Education History Learning Mistakes

Teacher: A person who swore she would starve before teaching, and who has been doing both ever since.

Definitions Education

[Caddyshack] was a six-million-dollar scholarship to film school.

(1944 – 2014) American actor, director & writer
Education Entertainment Film

We are shut up in schools and college recitation rooms for ten or fifteen years, and come out at last with a bellyful of words and do not know a thing.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Education Learning School

Education: One of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Definitions Education

Education is the process of moving from cocksure ignorance to thoughtful uncertainty.

Education Murphy’s Laws

Can’t anything be done about calling these guys student athletes? … That’s like referring to Attila the Hun’s cavalry as “weekend warriors.”

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Education People School Sports

How is education going to make me smarter?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Education TV/Movie Quotes

Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Learning Politicians

The one course you must take to graduate will not be offered during your last semester.

Education Murphy’s Laws