Subject: Places

God is good to the Irish, but no one else is, not even the Irish.

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist
People Places

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Death Places

America – a country that has leapt from barbarism to decadence without touching civilization.

(1905 – 1970) American writer
America Places

Home: The place where you can scratch any place you itch.

Definitions Places

The English should give Ireland home rule – and reserve the motion picture rights.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Places

The Norwegian language has been described as German spoken underwater.

Communication Language Places

In the begining there was nothing, and it exploded.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Places Time

The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into [a store] and punched someone in the face.

English musician, actor, writer & comedian
Conflict Fights Places World

The English never smash in a face; they merely refrain from asking it to dinner.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
England Food/Drink Insults Places

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Places

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.

America Food/Drink Places

A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe.

(1920 – 2004) Canadian author, television personality & journalist
People Places Sex Things

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Age Communication Language Old Speech World

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Places Science/Weather

Powdered milk, powdered eggs, baby powder… what a country!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America Places

Canadians have been so busy explaining to the Americans that we aren't British, and to the British that we aren't Americans that we haven't had time to become Canadians.

Canadian writer & speaker
America Canada People Places

America is the country where you buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
America Places Problems

The Jews celebrate Passover by eating unpalatable food to remind them what will happen to their people if they ever leave New York City.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs New York City Places Religion

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
America Places Television

North Korea is the country that the monkeys in The Wizard of Oz came from.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Places

You can find your way across this country using burger joints the way a navigator uses stars.

(1934 – 1997) journalist
Activities America Autos Places Travel