Subject: Conflict

I’m not worried about the Third World War… that’s the Third World’s problem.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Conflict War Wordplay

Sometime they'll give a war and nobody will come.

Carl Sandburg (1878 – 1967) biographer & poet
Conflict People War

Claim victory and retreat.

Conflict Murphy’s Laws War

He was young – He was fair – But the Injuns – Raised his hair

Conflict Epitaphs Hair Young

I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Conflict Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes War

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.


(1799 – 1850) French novelist & playwright
Crime Money Wealth

Thieves respect property; they merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Conflict Crime

The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

Military Murphy’s Laws War

In New York every rainbow has an empty pot of gold at the end with a chalk outline of a dead leprechaun.

American radio and television personality, comedian & speaker
Crime New York City Places

If people were forced to eat what they killed, there would be no more wars.

(1936 – 1989) American social & political activist
Conflict Eating Killing People War

Here's to Johnny quite a guy. Very sad he had to die. All was well could not be better, Till he wrote my girl a letter.

Conflict Epitaphs Girlfriends Killing

Most people assume the fights are going to be the left versus the right, but it always is the reasonable versus the jerks.

(1966 – ) entrepreneur, founder of Wikipedia
Beliefs Conflict Fights

War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Conflict People War

People don’t start wars, governments do.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Conflict Government War

They say that guns don't kill people, people kill people, but I think the guns help.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Arms Conflict Killing

If I play badly I’ll pick a fight in the third, just to get into a fight. I’ll break a guy’s leg to win, I don’t care. Afterward I say, ‘Yeah, all right I played badly, but I won the fight so who gives a damn.'

Canadian hockey player
Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

One failed attempt at a shoe bomb and we all take off our shoes at the airport; thirty-one school shootings since Columbine and no change in our regulation of guns.

(1977 – ) British political comedian & television host
Arms Conflict TV/Movie Quotes

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

actor, writer & editor
Accidents Problems War

L.A. is very dangerous; I carry a gun in my car, that way, in case the police stop me, I can fend them off until the press gets there.

American actor & writer
Arms Conflict Places

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the states, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Arms Things

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Conflict Crime Places