Subject: Conflict

A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.

Arms Games Murphy’s Laws Things

I believe that forgiving them is God’s function; our job is to arrange the meeting.

(1934 – 2012) United States Army general
Conflict Killing War

I got up the other day and everything in my apartment was stolen and replaced with an exact replica.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Crime Things

The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Communication Conflict Reading/Writing

If hockey fights were fake, I'd be in more of them.

professional hockey player
Fights Hockey Sports

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

Murphy’s Laws War

Don't lie, steal, or cheat unnecessarily.

Characteristics Conflict Honesty Murphy’s Laws

I thoroughly disapprove of duels; if a man would challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Conflict

Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and selling your story to T.V.!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict Crime Entertainment Television

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Killing

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

Conflict Housework Husbands Marriage Proverbs

My parents only had one argument in forty-five years; it lasted forty-three years.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Conflict Parents Relationships Time

War is God's way of teaching us geography.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Conflict God War

The real trouble with war (modern war) is that it gives no one a chance to kill the right people.

(1885 – 1972) expatriate American poet & critic
Conflict Killing People War

I was arrested for selling illegal-sized paper.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Crime

An infallible method of conciliating a tiger is to allow oneself to be devoured.

(1876 – 1967) German statesman
Conflict

My wife and I had words – but I never got to use mine.

Conflict Marriage Wives

The Falklands incident was a quarrel between two bald men over a comb.

(1899 – 1986) Argentine writer, essayist, poet & translator
Conflict War

Never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel.

Conflict Murphy’s Laws

Those who hammer their guns into ploughs will plough for those who do not.

(1743 – 1826) American Founding Father & 3rd U.S. president
Arms Conflict

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons!

Arms Conflict Military Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing