Subject: Communication

Most wives are like ventriloquists: they stand there nodding while the dummy does all the talking.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Marriage Speech Wives

If most people said what’s on their minds, they’d be speechless.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Intelligence Speech

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Language Reading/Writing Things

Pessimism: A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Reading/Writing

In Medieval times most of the people were alliterate.

Communication Malaprops Reading/Writing

There are three golden rules for parliamentary speakers: “Stand up. Speak up. Shut up.”

(1855 – 1949) British politician
Communication England Places Speech

Sex is better than talk… talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Communication Conversation Sex Speech

I am not part of the problem, I am a Republican.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements Problems Speech

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

The first page sells that book; the last page sells your next book.

(1918 – 2006) American writer
Books Communication Reading/Writing

Men's tonsils, please.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Speech

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

(1934 – 1982) English writer, comedian & actor
Reading/Writing Things

Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.

(450 BC – 388 BC) Greek Athenian comic playwright
Alcohol Food/Drink Speech Wisdom

I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions… what’s the point?

(1952 – ) British stand-up comedian, actor & author
Communication Speech

It was a dark and stormy night…

(1803 – 1873) English writer
Communication Reading/Writing

From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Communication Language Reading/Writing

Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Intelligence People Reading/Writing Stupidity

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.

(1907 – 2003) American actress of film, stage & television
Communication Marriage

The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Communication Entertainment Family Mothers

If I seem out of it tonight, it's 'cause I'm hooked on phonics.

comedian
Communication Drugs Language