Subject: Communication

Virginia Woolf’s writing is no more than glamorous knitting; I believe she must have a pattern somewhere.

(1887 – 1964) English biographer, critic, novelist & poet
Insults Reading/Writing

The trouble with talking too fast is you may say something you haven't thought of yet.

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist
Communication Speech

Polite conversation is rarely either.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Communication Conversation Speech

Don't use no double negatives.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Language

My handwriting looks as if a swarm of ants, escaping from an ink bottle, had walked over a sheet of paper without wiping their legs.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Communication People Reading/Writing Self

Oppose: To assist with obstructions and objections.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Children Family Speech Young

In my opinion I think that the author when he is writing should not get into the habit of making use of too many unnecessary words which he does not really need.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Science Fiction: Fairy tales for nerds.

Communication Definitions Science/Weather

This is the best biography by me I have ever read.

(1903 – 1992) American bandleader & TV host
Books Communication Misspokements Reading/Writing

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Beliefs Communication God Health Speech

Is "tired old cliche" one?


Communication Language

I have the oldest typewriter in the world; it types in pencil.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Science/Weather Things

Information necessitating a change of design will be conveyed to the designer after and only after the design is complete. (Often referred to as the ‘Now They Tell Me' Law)

Communication Murphy’s Laws

Electrocardiograph: Ticker tape.

Definitions Wordplay

When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

What’s another word for Thesaurus?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

Auctioneer: The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Speech

If you miss one issue of any magazine, it will be the issue that contains the article, story or installment you were most anxious to read.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

The world may be full of fourth-rate writers but it’s also full of fourth-rate readers.

(1928 – 2011) English novelist
Communication Reading/Writing