Subject: Communication

The difference between burlesque and the newspapers is that the former never pretended to be performing a public service by exposure.

(1907 – 1989) American writer
Communication Reading/Writing

Interpreter: One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to the interpreter’s advantage for the other to have said.

Communication Definitions Language

If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather Wordplay

George Moore wrote excellent English until he discovered grammar.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication Language Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

Wooing the press is an exercise roughly akin to picnicking with a tiger; you might enjoy the meal, but the tiger always eats last.

(1952 – ) American columnist & author
Communication Reading/Writing

I'm looking for loopholes.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Beliefs Reading/Writing Religion

If you write the word "monkey" a million times, do you start to think you're
 Shakespeare?


Communication Reading/Writing

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Communication Wordplay

It has been said that writing comes more easily if you have something to say.

(1880 – 1957) Polish-Jewish novelist, dramatist & essayist
Communication Reading/Writing

Geologist: Fault finder.

Definitions Wordplay

Newspapers are unable, seemingly, to discriminate between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilization.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication

A kiss that speaks volumes is seldom a first edition.

(1892 – 1972) American comedian, dancer & composer
Emotions Sex Wordplay

Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell.

(1925 – 2005) American journalist
Communication

Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument is an exchange of ignorance.

(1887 – 1948) American journalist & humorist
Communication Conversation

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Communication Language

A biography is a book that is usually written about a dead person because it is so unlike him when he was alive.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Books Characteristics Communication Reading/Writing

He strains his conversation through a cigar.

(1846–1916) American essayist, editor, critic & lecturer
Communication Conversation Insults Speech

A drama critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication Entertainment Wordplay

Philanthropist: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Wealth

Avoid fruit and nuts; you are what you eat.

(1945 –) American cartoonist (Garfield)
Eating Food/Drink Wordplay

I waited an hour for my starter; so I complained… ‘It's not rocket salad.’

British comedian & actress
Communication Malaprops Wordplay