Subject: Communication

A fly was very close to being called a “land,” cause that's what they do half the time.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Communication Language

I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of William Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.

Communication Reading/Writing

This book fills a much-needed gap.

(1900 – 1986) American teacher & translator
Books Reviews/Criticism

Boy, those French… they have a different word for everything!

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Communication Language

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Language

Before I start speaking, I'd like to say something.

Misspokements Speech

Arrivaducci, von boyage.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Communication Language Malaprops

I'm thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level.

(1955 – ) actor & comedian
Age Communication Reading/Writing

Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell.

(1925 – 2005) American journalist
Communication

Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements Speech

Sparky is the only guy I know who’s written more books than he has read.

baseball broadcaster
Misspokements Reading/Writing Sports

What does the word 'meteorologist' mean in English?… it means liar.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Communication Language Science/Weather

Should not the Society of Indexers be known as Indexers Society of, The?

(1929 – 2009) British novelist, newspaper columnist & television writer
Occupations Wordplay Work

Abstainer: A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language

If you found yourself in a situation where you could either save a drowning man, or you could take a Pulitzer prize winning photograph of him drowning, what shutter speed and setting would you use?

(1918 – 2009) radio broadcaster
Communication Reading/Writing

There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.

Communication Health Language

If God had written the Bible, the first line should have been 'It's round.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Books Communication

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Language

I had a paper route when I was a kid and I was supposed to go to 2,000 houses… or two dumpsters.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Work

Fiction writing is great; you can make up almost anything.

(1949 – ) ex-wife of cretin Donald Trump
Communication Reading/Writing

In a restaurant with seats which are close to each other, one will always find the decibel level of the nearest conversation to be inversely proportional to the quality of the thought going into it.

Communication Conversation Murphy’s Laws Speech