Subject: Communication

I stand by all the misstatements that I’ve made.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements Speech

I used to have a job as a pantomime horse, but quit while I was a head.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Work

Cynic: A man who sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Communication Intelligence Speech

It's strange, isn't it… you stand in the middle of a library and go 'Aaaaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an airplane, and everyone joins in.

(1921 – 1984) British comedian & magician
Communication Situations Speech

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Happiness Language People

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

(1936 – ) television talk show host
Communication Individuals People

If criticism had any power to harm, the skunk would be extinct by now.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Animals Communication

I like what mechanics wear… overall.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Clothing Communication Language

Aardvark: In the beginning was the word. And the word was ‘Aardvark.’

Communication Definitions Language

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

Communication Language

A stupid man’s report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Communication Intelligence

My friend has a baby; I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Happiness Language People Sex

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
Communication

Anyone can tell the truth, but only very few of us can make epigrams.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Characteristics Communication Language Reading/Writing Truth

Virginia Woolf’s writing is no more than glamorous knitting; I believe she must have a pattern somewhere.

(1887 – 1964) English biographer, critic, novelist & poet
Insults Reading/Writing

Clairvoyant: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron, namely, that he is a blockhead.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

I never read a book before reviewing it; it prejudices a man so.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Books Communication Reading/Writing

Man invented language to satisfy his inner need to complain.

(1935 – ) screenwriter, author, director & producer
Characteristics Communication Ideas Language

Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.

Communication Reading/Writing Taxes