Subject: Communication

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of wet toilet paper.

(1938 – ) film critic & former television co-host
Reviews/Criticism Speech

A full tongue and an empty brain are seldom parted.

(1592 – 1644) English writer
Communication Fools Intelligence Speech

In America you can always find a party; in Russia the party always finds you.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America Places Wordplay

I was a lighting technician, off and on.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Throwing acid is wrong… in some people’s eyes.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication Language

Geologist: Fault finder.

Definitions Wordplay

The bigger the mouth, the better it looks shut.

Communication Speech

An argument is two people trying to get in the last word first.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Conversation Speech

Why is it, when a door is open it’s ajar, but when a jar is open, it’s not a door?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Names were not so much dropped as thrown in a perpetual game of catch.

(1908 – 1992) English actor
Communication

He could sell socks to a rooster.

Communication Expressions

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Books Communication Reading/Writing Things

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Characteristics Communication Speech

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Communication

I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good book… or a friend who’s read one.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Age Books Friends People Sex Sleep

I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they’re dead.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Books Communication Misspokements Reading/Writing

Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers; unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Books Communication Reading/Writing

If you talk about yourself, he’ll think you’re boring; if you talk about others, he’ll think you’re a gossip; if you talk about him, he’ll think you’re a brilliant conversationalist.

Communication Dating Intelligence Speech

People will believe anything if you whisper it.

Beliefs Communication Murphy’s Laws

At school the other kids used to push me around and call me lazy; I loved that wheelchair.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.

(1844 – 1912) Scottish poet, novelist & literary critic
Communication Intelligence Science/Weather