Subject: Communication

We should go metric every inch of the way.

Language Science/Weather

Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication

The baby wakes up in the wee wee hours of the morning.

Children Family Wordplay

Farmer: A man who is outstanding in his field.

Definitions Wordplay

1. Never use one word when a dozen will suffice.
2. If it can be understood, it's not finished yet.
3. Never be the first to do anything.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Books Communication History Reading/Writing

Don't use commas, which aren't necessary.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.

Communication Conversation Entertainment Speech

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Tissue: Your daily nosepaper.

Definitions Wordplay

If Lincoln were alive today, he’d roll over in his grave.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Communication Misspokements Speech

You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication TV/Movie Quotes

Vagina?… that sounds like something you call in sick with.

American comedian & television host
Communication Health Language

Abstinence makes the heart go wander.

Sex Wordplay

My New Year’s Resolution for 2010? … I will be less laz

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Life

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Alcohol Communication People

If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?


Communication Language Things

They inculcate the morals of a whore and the manners of a dancing master.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Communication Reviews/Criticism

He is a man of his most recent word.

(1925 – 2008) American conservative author, commentator & television host
Beliefs Communication Opinion

Fame loses a little of its cache when you have to tell people that you have it.

(1975 – ) English comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech Success

The speaker with the most monotonous voice speaks after the big meal.

Communication Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Speech