Subject: Government

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Characteristics Taxes

I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Government Insults Law Lawyers Money

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Definitions Science/Weather Taxes

A dollar saved is a quarter earned.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Government Money

We’re all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Misspokements Mistakes Problems

Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Government Laughter People

Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.

Military Murphy’s Laws

The easy way is always mined.

Military Murphy’s Laws

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Government Honesty Politicians

Every man’s life, liberty, and property are in danger when the Legislature is in session.

(1782 – 1852) American statesman, senator (Massachusetts) & writer
Football Government

Judge: Miss West, are you trying to show contempt for this court?

Mae West: On the contrary, Your Honor, I was doin' my best to conceal it.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Government Law

Lawsuit: A contest generally won by the party that can afford to reimburse the lawyers on both sides of the dispute.

Definitions Law Lawyers

In Scotland we have a verdict ‘not proven;’ that means ‘not guilty, but don’t do it again.’

Law Places

Bureaucracy: A system that enables ten men to do the work of one.

Definitions Government

Having committed political suicide, the Conservative Party is now living to regret it.

(1944 – ) British politician, chancellor of Oxford & governor of Hong Kong
Government Politics

U2’s lawyers work pro bono.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Entertainment Lawyers Music

The only thing that hurts more than paying an income tax is not having to pay an income tax.

(1860 – 1917) Scottish politician & judge
Government Taxes

Russian Communism is the illegitimate child of Karl Marx and Catherine the Great.

(1883 – 1967) British prime minister & politician
Government Places

The spirit of public service will rise, and the bureaucracy will multiply itself much faster, in time of grave national concern.

Government Murphy’s Laws

I don't know a lot about politics, but I can recognize a good party man when I see one.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men Politics

All other things being equal, the side with the simplest uniforms wins.

Appearance Clothing Military Murphy’s Laws