Subject: Government

No One Likes Paying Taxes – What Makes You So Special?

Government Taxes

Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Government

The only thing that hurts more than paying an income tax is not having to pay an income tax.

(1860 – 1917) Scottish politician & judge
Government Taxes

If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.

Military Murphy’s Laws

The difference between Democrats and Republicans?… Democrats remind us that life is unfair, and Republicans make sure it is.

American comedian & writer
Government Politicians

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don’t know anything and can’t read.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Government Intelligence People Reading/Writing

Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects.

(1897 – 1972) Canadian prime minister
Government Politics

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.

(1972 – ) Irish stand-up comedian, voice over artist & actor
Democracy Government People

If you want to get along, go along.

(1882 – 1961) politician
Government

It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Places Politics

Surprise is an event that takes place only in the mind of a commander.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Perhaps we could have a translation, I could not quite follow.

(1894 – 1986) British prime minister
Communication Government

Candidate: A person who asks for money from the wealthy and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

In Russia a man is called reactionary if he objects to having his property stolen and his wife and children murdered.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Communication Government Places

A man with both feet planted firmly in the air.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Definitions People Politics

They always throw around this term ‘the liberal elite,’ and I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right; what’s more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs Government Politics Religion

Income Tax: The entry fee for the rat race.

Definitions Government Taxes

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

(1918 – 2007) American humor writer
Government Money Taxes

Convicted criminal: As God is my judge – I am innocent.

Birkett: He isn’t; I am, and you’re not!

(1883 – 1962) British barrister, judge, politician & preacher
Government Law

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it’s just sort of a tired feeling.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Characteristics Taxes

A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that’s lost – he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals Dogs Politicians