Subject: Government

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Definitions Science/Weather Taxes

The Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Government

You have the right to remain silent; anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

Communication Law Speech

A Confederacy of Dunces

Book Titles Government

People try to live within their income so they can afford to pay taxes to a government that can't live within its income.

businessman
Government Money Taxes

Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Government Law Lawyers

Troops: Expendable bodies sent by the government to stop bullets during obscure foreign uprisings.

Definitions Military

The House of Lords must be the only institution in the world which is kept efficient by the persistent absenteeism of most of its members.

(1870 – 1963) British politician & diplomat
Government

If you are short of everything except enemy, you are in combat.

Conflict Military Murphy’s Laws War

Anything you can do can get you killed – including doing nothing.

Military Murphy’s Laws

It’s not the people who vote that count, it’s the people who count the votes.

(1878 – 1953) Soviet politician, leader of the Soviet Union
Elections/Voting Government People

No One Likes Paying Taxes – What Makes You So Special?

Government Taxes

What a liberal wants is to bring about change which will not in any way endanger his position.

(1941 – 1998) Trinidadian-American and prominent figure in the Civil Rights Movement
Beliefs Government

A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're dead.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Beliefs Government Politics

Government is too big and too important to be left to the politicians.

(1901 – 1986) diplomat & economist
Government Politicians

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Government Occupations Taxes

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.

(1930 – ) actor, writer, film & television director
Communication Government Language President

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Democracy Elections/Voting Government

I vote for whoever will annoy my dad.

(1988 – ) English comedian, television presenter & actor
Elections/Voting Government

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems, back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Situations Taxes

If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Government People Work