Subject: Money

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Money People

Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Marriage Money Work

In spite of the cost of living, it’s still popular.

(1880 – 1966) American novelist
Life Money

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Money

Income: The sum of money which it costs more than to live.

Definitions Money

We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Family Fathers Money Poverty Things

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Animals Money

Time is money, especially when you are talking to a lawyer or buying a commercial.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Government Law Lawyers Money Time

If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves.

(1922 – 1999) labor union leader, president of the AFL-CIO
Money Wealth Work

The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Children Family Money

Bargain: anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Money Shopping

You may be a redneck if you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos Education Money People

Depression: A period during which we have to get along without the things our grandparents never dreamed of.

Definitions Money Past Time

A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Clothing Money People Women

Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, & over these ideals they dispute & cannot unite — but they all worship money.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Money

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Children Eating Food/Drink Money

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Intelligence Money

The most efficient labor-saving device is still money.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Money

By the time you get to the point where you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Money Murphy’s Laws Time

About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

(1929 – 1933) 31st U.S. president, humanitarian
Money

Nowadays, an after-dinner mint is what you need to pay the restaurant check.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Food/Drink Money