Subject: Sports

There’s no secret. You just press the accelerator to the floor and steer left.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

A sad ending, albeit a happy one, here at Montreal for today’s Grand Prix.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

The Mets have gotten their leadoff hitter on base only once in this inning.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns.

Baseball Basketball Football Hockey Sports

This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.

horse racing trainer & commentator
Misspokements Sports

Colleges spend more money on the promotion of the Heisman than the Pentagon spends on toilets.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Education Football Sports

When I am right, no one remembers. When I am wrong, no one forgets.

American baseball umpire
Baseball Sports

If I knew he was gonna throw a no-hitter, I would have thrown one too.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

We can’t win at home… we can’t win on the road; as general manager, I just can’t figure out where else to play.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive
Basketball Misspokements Sports

I guess I’d better send my fingers to Cooperstown.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

The current version of Buster Mathis [Jr.] boasts not just a Michelin man waist but an embonpoint thai would give him a better shot at starring in the next Wonderbra poster than winning a boxing title.

Boxing Sports

I don’t know. I only played there for nine years.

American football player
Football Sports

My face is my mask.

Canadian professional hockey goalie
Hockey Sports

I asked my doctor how many more years I have left and he said, 'You're too ornery to die.'

(1929 – ) American baseball player who had a well-publicized bipolar disorder
Baseball Death Sports

His potatoes kept getting cut eyes.

English boxing journalist & commentator
Boxing Sports

When I did this three years ago, it was like death. When I did it last year, it was like near death. This year, it was just really hard.

wheelchair athlete
Sports

Pitching always beats batting — and vice-versa.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

We can't run. We can't pass. We can't stop the run. We can't stop the pass. We can't kick. Other than that, were just not a very good football team right now.

American football coach
Football Sports

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Activities Golf Sports

I'll always remember this as the night Michael and I combined to score 70 points.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Activities Baseball Characteristics Sports