Subject: Sports

Every time I sign a ball, and there have been thousands, I thank my luck that I wasn’t born Coveseski or Wambsganss or Peckinpaugh.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

You have only two hemispheres in your brain – a left and a right side. The left side controls the right side of your body and the right controls the left half. It's a fact. Therefore, left-handers are the only people in their right minds.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Intelligence Mind Sports

He needed a psychiatrist more than I did.

(1929 – ) American baseball player who had a well-publicized bipolar disorder
Baseball Sports

Nothing is so bad it can’t be made worse by firing the coach.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Situations Sports

I don't expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation; I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation.

Nebraska football coach
Football Sports

If you break 100, watch your golf; if you break 80, watch your business.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Golf Sports Work

Coaches are an integral part of any manager's team, especially if they are good pinochle players.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Throw strikes – home plate don't move.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

He’s easy to do. Sit on the bench. Play about 10 minutes a game.

Czech hockey player
Hockey Sports

If you want a track team to win the high jump you find one person who can jump seven feet, not seven people who can jump one foot.

Murphy’s Laws Sports Success

So many of [English sporting promoter] Barry Hearn's boxers end up in the hospital; he should sell his limousine and buy an ambulance.

British boxer
Boxing Sports

Brooks [Robinson] never asked anyone to name a candy bar after him; in Baltimore, people named their children after him.

sports writer
Baseball Sports

The game is too long, the season is too long and the players are too long.

American basketball executive
Basketball Sports

Advice to anglers: don't take advice from people with missing fingers.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Activities People Sports

Here's a six-foot-ten guy in sneakers and the lady's asking me, 'Profession?'


Basketball Occupations Sports Work

I figured I'd find him sooner or later but I never did. I asked myself, "Where did he go?" I knew he was there because he kept hitting me.

British boxing champion
Boxing Sports

Yes, and I also like jumping out of tall buildings.

American hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

You need two yards, I'll get you three. You need 10 yards, I'll get you three.

American football player
Football Sports

… when we came in at halftime we pulled off our socks and began putting iodine on the teeth marks in our legs.

American football player & coach
Football Sports

Mike's like a Gershwin or Beethoven. You go for the quality of the performance, not the longevity of it.

(1931 – ) American boxing promoter
Boxing Sports

They said I was such a great prospect that they were sending me to a winter league to sharpen up.; when I stepped off the plane, I was in Greenland.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Sports