Subject: Miscellaneous

She's so stuck up, she'd drown in a rainstorm.

Miscellaneous

It’s raining so hard the animals are starting to pair up.

Miscellaneous

If brains was grease, he couldn’t slick the head of a pin.

Miscellaneous

Tall hog at the trough

Miscellaneous

“I’ve grown fat on the contents of charity packages,” said Tom carefully.

Miscellaneous

Toward the end of the Stone Age I bet there was already a feeling that metal was just around the corner.

Miscellaneous

If you can't hang with the big dawgs, get off the porch!

Miscellaneous

Speaker: I have only ten minutes and hardly know where to begin.

Voice in the back: Begin at the ninth.

Communication Miscellaneous Speech

Protected: Secret Cookie Recipe

Miscellaneous

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it’s just sort of a tired feeling.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous

I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well

Miscellaneous

I wouldn’t mind if animals ate my body, after I’m dead. And before I’m dead, they could lick me.

Miscellaneous

He was grinnin' like a possum eatin' briars.

Miscellaneous

I'll walk to town on that lip!

Miscellaneous

If a cow had wheels, it would be a milk truck.

Miscellaneous

He's so thin he had to stand twice in the same place to make a shadow.

Miscellaneous

Give a man a fish and it will feed him for a day, give the man a fishing rod and he will sell it for more fish, or burn it for firewood.

(1968 – ) English impressionist & comedian
Miscellaneous Proverbs

Didn’t lick it off a stone

Miscellaneous

The Origin of Feces: What Excrement Tells Us about Evolution, Ecology, and a Sustainable Society

Miscellaneous

Bigger’n Dallas

Miscellaneous

He’s so dumb he couldn’t piss his name in the snow.

Miscellaneous