Subject: Miscellaneous

She is so ugly I would hire her to haunt a house.

Miscellaneous

She’s so ugly her feet wouldn’t go to bed with her!

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I haven't seen you since Hector was a pup.

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I'm so hungry I could eat my elbows.

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Presidential ambition is a disease which can only be cured by embalming fluid.

(1903 – 1963) U.S. senator (Tennessee)
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The Quotable A**hole

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Going to hell in a handbasket

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I think there is more wisdom in a single drop of rain than there is in all the books in all the libraries of the world… wait, not rain– super-concentrated brain juice.

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He has to sneak up on water fountain to get a drink.

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Bring the door

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That boy wouldn’t work in a pie factory, afraid he’d get full and have to quit.

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Granny Scrooch

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One-third sap and two-thirds Eleanor.

(1884 – 1980) author & wit
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Faster than a scalded dog

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It’s comin’ down a toad-floater.

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Make Me Late For Work Today

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Act like you’ve got some raisin.

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Sunday face

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If I had two wheels, I would be a bicycle.

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In some countries, what I did would be considered polite, especially Fartland.

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If my dog was ugly as you, I’d shave his butt and make him walk backwards.

Miscellaneous