Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Miscellaneous
I don’t pay him no nevermind.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Don’t pay attention to
Other expressions
Cooler than a flip side of a down pillow.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Cool
Other expressions
Temperature
If I lived back in the olden days, and the doctor put leeches on me, I’d tell him to put them on my face, in the shape of a beard, so I could see how I’d look.
Miscellaneous
Crying like a pine knot in a sawmill.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Loud
Noisy
Other expressions
Sound
Broke out with money
Country expression
Miscellaneous
HIs money shows
It’s obvious he’s got money
Other expressions
Not being born to parents who were accountants was probably my biggest mistake.
Chris Eubank
British boxing champion
Boxing
Miscellaneous
Sports
He's busier than a cat with two tails.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Very busy
I wouldn’t mind if animals ate my body, after I’m dead. And before I’m dead, they could lick me.
Miscellaneous
If the captain invited me to his party, after he had whipped me earlier in the day up on deck, I guess I’d go, but I’d try to find some excuse to leave early.
Miscellaneous
It's so hot that it makes me want to take off my skin and sit in my bones.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
You learn more character on the two-yard line than anywhere else in life.
Paul Dietzel
American football player, coach & administrator
Miscellaneous
Character
I feel like a lost ball in a high weed.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Being lost
Confusion
Other expressions
Go hog wild
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Have a good time
Other expressions
“I’m falling into a void,” said Tom flawlessly.
Miscellaneous
I’m so confused I don’t know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Confusion
Other expressions
He ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed!
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Not too bright
Other expressions
Come here and gimme a Yankee dime.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Anonymous
Give me a kiss.
Too bad you can’t buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.
Miscellaneous
It would be better to dress him than to feed him.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Expense
He eats a lot
Other expressions
It was all still and Sunday-like.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Calm
Other expressions
Quiet
Well, ain’t that just tits on a duck!
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Mild surprise
Other expressions
Well I declare
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