Subject: Intelligence

The best time to give advice to your children is while they’re still young enough to believe you know what you’re talking about.

Beliefs Children Family Intelligence Opinion

A full tongue and an empty brain are seldom parted.

(1592 – 1644) English writer
Communication Fools Intelligence Speech

Fools rush in and get the best seats.

Fools Proverbs

It (a cubicle) basically says, like, 'You know what?… we don't think you're smart enough for an office, but we don't want you to look at anybody.'

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Intelligence Work

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Intelligence Stupidity

I remember when Grandpa’s memories started to go; it was the day I caught him urinating with the door open… which is not a huge deal, but it’s annoying when I’m trying to drive.

Canadian comedian & actor
Intelligence Memory Relationships Situations

Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Intelligence Religion

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.

Intelligence Memory

I see the pain on your face when you say the word intellectual, because it has so many syllables in it.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
Insults Intelligence

Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.

Military Murphy’s Laws Understanding

People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.

Communication Fools Intelligence Proverbs Speech

What you don't know would make a good book.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Insults Intelligence

He is so stupid… mind readers charge him half price.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Nothing wise was ever printed upon an apron.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing Intelligence Wisdom

I don’t know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan’s Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Intelligence Mind Science/Weather

Do not argue with an idiot; he/she will drag you down to his/her level and beat you with experience.

Fools Intelligence People

The next best thing to being clever is being able to quote someone who is.

author
Communication Intelligence Wisdom

In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Education Fools God Insults Intelligence

Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.

(1885 – 1962) Danish physicist
Communication Thinking

Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits.

(1906 – 1982) baseball player
Intelligence Situations

We all agree your theory is crazy… but is it crazy enough to be true?

(1885 – 1962) Danish physicist
Ideas Intelligence