Subject: Intelligence

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Dance Entertainment Intelligence Music

Genius: One who can do almost anything except make a living.

Definitions Intelligence

He is suffering from halitosis of the intellect; that's presuming he has intellect.

(1874 – 1952) administrator & politician
Insults Intelligence

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and – I can't remember what the third thing is.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Intelligence Memory

Empty vessels make most noise.

Fools Intelligence

Ideas pull the trigger, but instinct loads the gun.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Arms Ideas Intelligence

There's no sense in being precise when you don't even know what you're talking about.

(1903 – 1957) Hungarian-American mathematician
Communication Intelligence Speech

Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Intelligence Memory Past

One thing in which the sexes are equal is in thinking that they're not.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Intelligence Men People Women

One who has a clear conscience has a foggy memory.

Intelligence Memory

There are four things that hold back human progress – ignorance, stupidity, committees and accountants.

(1797 – 1875) American accountant
Intelligence Situations Stupidity

Why is it that nobody understands me and everybody likes me?

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Characteristics People Self Understanding

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.

Age Intelligence Old Young

Every man is a fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists of not exceeding the limit.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Fools Intelligence Wisdom

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

(1929 – ) American writer
Intelligence Life Mind

You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults Intelligence

Every good idea sooner or later degenerates into hard work.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Ideas Intelligence Work

You might be a redneck if… your family always goes to the movies in groups of 18 or more 'cause they were told 17 and under are not admitted.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Intelligence People Rednecks Stupidity

 Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? … I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Intelligence

It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Intelligence

He was so learned that he could name a horse in nine languages; so ignorant that he bought a cow to ride on.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals Intelligence Stupidity Wisdom