Subject: Intelligence

I believe in an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out.

(1891 – 1968) American publisher of The New York Times
Intelligence Mind

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Intelligence Science/Weather Situations

Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Situations

The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to… to…

Intelligence Memory Murphy’s Laws

According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Intelligence Problems

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Autos Driving Fools Intelligence Things

What he lacks in intelligence, he makes up for in stupidity.

Insults Intelligence Stupidity

What a terrible thing to have lost one’s mind… or not to have a mind at all; how true that is.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Intelligence Mind Misspokements

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Intelligence

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Clothing Intelligence Science/Weather Understanding

If he ever had a bright idea it would be beginner's luck.

(1956 – ) American lawyer & novelist
Insults Intelligence

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals; she thought we just fought in world war eleven.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Intelligence War

Sam, I’m very impressed. That’s a complex psychological concept coming from a man who has to write “L” and “R” on the bottom of his shoes.

(1949 – ) American actress
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

I remember when Grandpa’s memories started to go; it was the day I caught him urinating with the door open… which is not a huge deal, but it’s annoying when I’m trying to drive.

Canadian comedian & actor
Intelligence Memory Relationships Situations

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Intelligence Proverbs Stupidity

You have only two hemispheres in your brain – a left and a right side. The left side controls the right side of your body and the right controls the left half. It's a fact. Therefore, left-handers are the only people in their right minds.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Intelligence Mind Sports

Idiot: A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Intelligence

Equality is not when a female Einstein gets promoted to assistant professor; equality is when a female schlemiel moves ahead as fast as a male schlemiel.

Fools Intelligence Men People Women

Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.

(1908 – 1965) American broadcast journalist & newscaster
Communication Intelligence Speech Wisdom World

In mathematics you don't understand things… you just get used to them.

(1903 – 1957) Hungarian-American mathematician
Intelligence Science/Weather Understanding

Ever notice that 'what the hell' is always the right decision.

(1926 – 1962) actress, sex symbol
Intelligence