Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 2)

If you take something apart and put it back together enough times, eventually you will have two of them.

Rap's Law of Inanimate Reproduction

Murphy’s Laws Assembly

It is the essence of grantsmanship to persuade the foundation executives that it was they who suggested the research project and that you were a belated convert, agreeing reluctantly to all they had proposed.

Parkinson's Principle of Non-Origination

Murphy’s Laws Research grants

Foundation of a party signals the dissolution of the movement.

Andras's Political Postulate

Government Murphy’s Laws Politics Political parties

When somebody drops something, everybody will kick it around instead of picking it up.

Dingle's Law

Murphy’s Laws

When traveling with children… at least one child of any number of children will request a rest room stop exactly halfway between any two given rest areas.

Cripp's Law

Activities Children Family Murphy’s Laws Travel Distance Rest stop

No matter how early you arrive, someone else is in line first.

Heid's Law of Lines

Murphy’s Laws Lines

Caveats are always* forgotten.
*Caveat: except in rare instances

Battleson’s Blathrskite

Murphy’s Laws Kirk Battleson

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Baker's Law

Murphy’s Laws Misery

1. Never be first 2. Never be last 3. Never volunteer for anything.

Lackland's Laws

Murphy’s Laws Volunteering

After a salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you had before.

Gumperson's – Corollary I

Money Murphy’s Laws Work Salary

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

McGregor's Revised Maxim

Murphy’s Laws Construction Shortest distance

1. No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough. 2. What you don't do is always more important than what you do do.

Worker's Dilemma Law (or Management's Put-Down Law)

Murphy’s Laws Doing things Effort

The hidden flaw never remains hidden.

Law of Revelation

Murphy’s Laws Hidden flaws

If you live long enough, something will kill you.

Wolpe’s Law of Mortality

Death Life Murphy’s Laws Bruce C. Wolpe

What this world needs is a damned good plague.

Larrimer's Constant

Health Murphy’s Laws Places World Plague

Never tell them what you wouldn't do.

Powell's Law

Communication Murphy’s Laws

If it works, don't fix it.

First Rule of Rural Mechanics

Murphy’s Laws Repairs

Never say “oops” while your patient is conscious.

Stettner's Law for Surgeons

Doctors Health Murphy’s Laws Problems Patients

In a bureaucracy, accomplishment is inversely proportional to the volume of paper used.

Fowler's Law

Murphy’s Laws Accomplishments Bureaucracy Paper

Anything hit with a big enough hammer will fall apart.

Jake's Law

Murphy’s Laws Problems Things Hammers

Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 2)

Everything is more complicated than it looks to most people.

If you take something apart and put it back together enough times, eventually you will have two of them.

It is the essence of grantsmanship to persuade the foundation executives that it was they who suggested the research project and that you were a belated convert, agreeing reluctantly to all they had proposed.

Foundation of a party signals the dissolution of the movement.

When somebody drops something, everybody will kick it around instead of picking it up.

When traveling with children… at least one child of any number of children will request a rest room stop exactly halfway between any two given rest areas.

No matter how early you arrive, someone else is in line first.

Caveats are always* forgotten.
*Caveat: except in rare instances

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

1. Never be first 2. Never be last 3. Never volunteer for anything.

After a salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you had before.

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

1. No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough. 2. What you don't do is always more important than what you do do.

The hidden flaw never remains hidden.

If you live long enough, something will kill you.

What this world needs is a damned good plague.

Never tell them what you wouldn't do.

If it works, don't fix it.

Never say “oops” while your patient is conscious.

In a bureaucracy, accomplishment is inversely proportional to the volume of paper used.

Anything hit with a big enough hammer will fall apart.