Author: Bill Murray

State Trooper: Now you can go back to Punxsutawney, or you can go ahead and freeze to death. It’s your choice. So what’s it gonna be?

Phil: [pauses] I’m thinking…

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

What’s the matter? You’re pacing like an expectant father with the clap.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

[to campers] Attention. Here’s an update on tonight’s dinner. It was veal. I repeat, veal. The winner of tonight’s mystery meat contest is Jeffrey Corbin who guessed “some kind of beef.”

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Dr Ray Stantz: Hey… Where these stairs go?

Dr. Peter Venkman: They go up!

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

[When his girlfriend is leaving him] You can’t go! All the plants are gonna die!

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

Dana Barrett: That’s the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there.

Dr. Peter Venkman: What a crime.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

I have to laugh, because I’ve outsmarted even myself. … In order to conquer the animal, I have to learn to think like an animal… and, whenever possible, to look like one. I’ve gotta get inside this guy’s pelt and crawl around for a few days.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
Animals TV/Movie Quotes

Sandy: I want you to kill every gopher on the course!

Carl: Check me if I’m wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they’re gonna lock me up and throw away the key.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
Golf Sports TV/Movie Quotes

Dana Barrett: That’s the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there.

Dr. Peter Venkman: What a crime.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

[preparing to dynamite the gopher tunnel] In the immortal words of Jean Paul Sartre, ‘Au revoir, gopher.’

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Recruiter: Now, are either of you homosexuals?

John Winger: [John and Russell look at each other] You mean, like, flaming…

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Sergeant Hulka: Soldier, I’ve noticed that you’re always last.
John Winger: I’m pacing myself, Sergeant.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

A few decades ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Hope, no Cash and no Jobs; please don’t let Kevin Bacon die!

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
Death

The cool part about naming your kid is you don’t have to add six numbers to make sure the name is available.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
Children Family

Ned, I would love to stay here and talk with you… but I’m not going to.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
Communication Conversation TV/Movie Quotes

I don’t have to take this abuse from you, I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

I make it a rule never to get involved with possessed people. [Dana starts passionately making out with him] Actually, it’s more of a guideline than a rule…

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Dr Ray Stantz: Hey… Where these stairs go?

Dr. Peter Venkman: They go up!

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

So we finish 18 and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, ‘Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.’ And he says, ‘Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ … So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

Important announcement: [to campers] Some hunters have been seen in the woods near Piney Ridge trail and the fish and game commission has raised the legal kill limit on campers to three. So, if you’re hiking today, please wear something bright and keep low.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

[Dana has described seeing a terror dog in her refrigerator]

Dr. Peter Venkman: Generally you don’t see that kind of behavior in a major appliance.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes