Subject: Activities » Driving (Page 3)

The first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front of your eyes.

Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws Things

The speed of an oncoming vehicle is directly proportional to the length of the passing zone.

Activities Driving Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

The driver behind you wants to go five miles per hour faster.

Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws Things

When there is a very long road upon which there is a one-way bridge placed at random, and there are only two cars on that road, it follows that: (1) the two cars are going in opposite directions, and (2) they will always meet at the bridge.

Activities Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws Travel

The only way to make up for being lost is to make record time while you are lost.

Activities Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws

But, as my mother used to tell me, two wrongs don't make a right… but I soon figured out that three left turns do.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Driving Situations

The only cultural advantage L.A. has over New York is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Driving New York City Places

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Driving Murphy’s Laws

Patsy: Well, what am I supposed to do if you die?

Edina: Get cabs!

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
Driving TV/Movie Quotes

Three weeks ago, she learned how to drive; last week she learned how to aim it.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Activities Autos Driving Things

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people “the cops.”

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Alcohol Autos Driving Food/Drink Things

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today; they left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’

(1921 – 1984) British comedian & magician
Activities Driving Situations

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Characteristics Driving Situations