Subject: Activities » Drugs

Trying to give my kids an education in Los Angeles is a nightmare with the guns, the gangs, the drugs – and I'm home schooling them.

American comedian & writer
Conflict Drugs Education Places

If I seem out of it tonight, it's 'cause I'm hooked on phonics.

comedian
Communication Drugs Language

If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Drugs

I was troubled by the presence of a shoe museum because it forced me to ask a very burning question: would my body be able to physically survive the amount of dope I would need to smoke in order to visit a shoe museum?

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Drugs Situations

Several members of our youth department are collecting donations for Operation Graduation. Funds will be used for a drug and alcohol party following graduation on May 29th.

Alcohol Church Bulletins Drugs

I’m addicted to placebos; I’d give them up, but it wouldn’t make any difference.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Drugs

It was actually easier for me to become a vegetarian – you know, quitting meat – because your friends never show up at your house with a sack of meat.

(1966 – ) American actor, musician & comedian
Activities Drugs Eating Food/Drink

Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Activities Drugs

Study: Ecstasy Causes Brain Damage

Drugs Headlines Health

Let me ask you… would crack be so bad, and would people think so harshly of crack, if it were called 'crackle'?

(1968 – ) American actor & comedian
Activities Communication Drugs Language

Drugs have taught an entire generation of Americans the metric system.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Activities America Drugs Education People

There’s no such thing as addiction, there’s only things that you enjoy doing more than life.

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Drugs

Crystal meth's a good drug if you need to walk to St. Louis one weekend.

(1967 – ) American comedian, actor, radio personality & author
Activities Drugs

Some people think I’m high on stage; I would never get high before a show, because, when I’m high, I don’t wanna stand in front of a bunch of people I don’t know.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities Drugs Situations

Jim: Yeah, I did some drugs, though probably not as many as you think. How many drugs do you think I did?

Elaine Nardo: A lot.

Jim: Wow! Right on the nose!

(1938 – ) American actor
Activities Drugs TV/Movie Quotes

I believed in drug testing a long time ago… all through the Sixties I tested everything.

American baseball pitcher
Activities Baseball Drugs Sports

Someone stole my antidepressants; whoever they are, I hope they’re happy.


Activities Drugs

Is it common for people to become a pothead at 40? … asking for myself.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Activities Age Drugs

I also smoke a lot of pot… occasionally… every day.

(1966 – ) American actor, musician & comedian
Activities Drugs

Because of acid, I now know that butter is way better than margarine.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities Drugs

My friend died doing what he loved… heroin.

Canadian-American comedian, writer & columnist
Activities Death Drugs