Subject: Activities » Drugs (Page 3)

Crystal meth's a good drug if you need to walk to St. Louis one weekend.

(1967 – ) American comedian, actor, radio personality & author
Activities Drugs

If I drop out of school, where am I gonna find drugs?

Palestinian/American comedian
Activities Drugs School Situations

Drugs have taught an entire generation of Americans the metric system.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Activities America Drugs Education People

Drug: A substance that, when injected into a guinea pig, produces a scientific paper.

Activities Definitions Drugs Science/Weather

I don't need drugs anymore, thank God; I can get the same effect just by standing up real fast.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Age Drugs Old

I was troubled by the presence of a shoe museum because it forced me to ask a very burning question: would my body be able to physically survive the amount of dope I would need to smoke in order to visit a shoe museum?

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Drugs Situations

I’m addicted to placebos; I’d give them up, but it wouldn’t make any difference.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Drugs

I believed in drug testing a long time ago… all through the Sixties I tested everything.

American baseball pitcher
Activities Baseball Drugs Sports

I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout; that's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.

(1956 – 2016) American stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Drugs Exercise Money

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Activities Drugs God People

A libertarian is just a Republican who takes drugs.

(1951 – ) American anarchist writer
Drugs Government People Politics

Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it's funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own.

(1921 – 2001) Welsh comedian & singer
Activities Alcohol Beer Drugs Sleep

Somebody once said that laughter is the best medicine, and that was clearly written by a man that never tried Vicodin.

(1959 – ) American comedian, comedy writer, actor & author
Activities Drugs Emotions Health Laughter

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.

(1937 – 2005) journalist & author
Alcohol Drugs Life Self

I went on a job interview and the lady asked me if I’d pass a drug test; I said, “Yeah, if it’s written.”

American comedian
Drugs Work

If I seem out of it tonight, it's 'cause I'm hooked on phonics.

comedian
Communication Drugs Language

It was an arranged marriage, put together by drugs and alcohol.

American comedian & television host
Alcohol Drugs Marriage

Let me ask you… would crack be so bad, and would people think so harshly of crack, if it were called 'crackle'?

(1968 – ) American actor & comedian
Activities Communication Drugs Language

I used to do drugs; I still do, but I used to, too.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities Drugs Past

It was actually easier for me to become a vegetarian – you know, quitting meat – because your friends never show up at your house with a sack of meat.

(1966 – ) American actor, musician & comedian
Activities Drugs Eating Food/Drink

There’s no such thing as addiction, there’s only things that you enjoy doing more than life.

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Drugs