Subject: Activities » Housework

I did think about adopting… an 18-year-old girl from Thailand, whose hobbies include vacuuming and some light dusting.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Girls Housework People Relationships

I used to think about Cindy Crawford; now, I think about leaving dishes in the sink overnight without a war breaking out.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Housework Marriage Sex

My mother was so house proud that when my father got up to sleepwalk she had the bed made by the time he got back.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Family Housework Mothers

There's no real need to do housework – after four years it doesn't get any worse.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Housework Situations Work

I’d like to marry a nice domesticated homosexual with a fetish for wiping down Formica and different vacuum-cleaner attachments.

(1960 – ) English comedian, novelist & actress
Housework Marriage Men

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Housework Situations World

Men – because of a tragic flaw – cannot see dirt until there is enough of it to support agriculture.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Housework Men People

Keeping house is as unpleasant and filthy as coal mining, and the pay's a lot worse.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Activities Housework

I do clean up a little if company is coming; I'll wipe the lipstick off the milk container.

(1952 – ) comedian
Activities Housework

Excuse the mess but we live here.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Activities Housework

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

Conflict Housework Husbands Marriage Proverbs

Don't cook… don’t clean; no man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Activities Housework Sex

A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.

Activities Housework Life Proverbs

You don’t get spoiled if you do your own ironing.

(1949 – ) American actress
Activities Housework

Have you ever taken something out of the clothes hamper because it had become, relatively, the cleanest thing?

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Appearance Clothing Housework

If you start to clean your desk in the spare bedroom you will probably have to clean the garage to find what you need to finish cleaning the desk.

Housework Murphy’s Laws

Nothing annoys a woman more than to have company drop in unexpectedly and find the house looking as it usually does.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Housework People Situations

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Activities Housework

I’m eighteen years behind on my ironing.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Activities Housework

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them; my mother cleans them.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Family Housework Mothers

I’ve decided to become gay… not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.

American comedian & actor
Activities Housework