Subject: Activities » Housework (Page 2)

There’s such a buildup of crud in my oven, there’s only room to bake a single cupcake.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Activities Housework

I make no secret of the fact that I would rather lie on a sofa than sweep beneath it.

(1932 – ) British novelist & journalist
Activities Housework

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Activities Housework

How do you know if it's time to wash the dishes and clean your house?… look inside your pants and if you find a penis in there, it's not time.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Housework Men People Situations

My second favorite household chore is ironing, my first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Activities Housework

I’d like to marry a nice domesticated homosexual with a fetish for wiping down Formica and different vacuum-cleaner attachments.

(1960 – ) English comedian, novelist & actress
Housework Marriage Men

I did think about adopting… an 18-year-old girl from Thailand, whose hobbies include vacuuming and some light dusting.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Girls Housework People Relationships

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Children Housework People

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Housework Work

Keeping house is as unpleasant and filthy as coal mining, and the pay's a lot worse.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Activities Housework

You don’t get spoiled if you do your own ironing.

(1949 – ) American actress
Activities Housework

I used to think about Cindy Crawford; now, I think about leaving dishes in the sink overnight without a war breaking out.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Housework Marriage Sex

Excuse the mess but we live here.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Activities Housework

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Activities Housework

People often write me and ask how I keep my wood floors so clean when I live with a child and a dog, and my answer is that I use a technique called “Suffering From a Mental Illness.”

(1975 – ) blogger
Health Housework

There is always more dirty laundry than clean laundry.

Housework Murphy’s Laws

Housekeeping ain't no joke.

(1832 – 1888) novelist
Housework Work

Whatever arrangement you make for the division of household duties, your husband's job will be easier.

Housework Husbands Murphy’s Laws Wives

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Housework Situations World

I find apologizing for not having cleaned is easier than cleaning.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Housework

I used to live with five straight guys and – ew, the cleaning schedule was 'nope.'

comedian
Housework Men People