Subject: Activities (Page 10)

Have ever played Strip Trivial Pursuit? … what that is… is you, sitting on a chair with no clothes on, feeling fat, watching someone fully clothed beat you at Trivial Pursuit.

(1981 – ) English writer, stand-up comedian & actress
Activities Games

My mother was so house proud that when my father got up to sleepwalk she had the bed made by the time he got back.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Family Housework Mothers

Children have more energy after a hard day of play than they do after a good night's sleep.

Children Murphy’s Laws Situations Sleep

The boomarang is Australia’s chief export (and then import.)

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Games Places

It is an undoubted truth, that the less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in.

Lord Chesterfield (1694 – 1773) British statesman
Activities Time

I hate when people drive like me.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian
Autos Driving Situations Things

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, – meaning “ability to,” and bics, – meaning “withstand tremendous boredom.”

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities

A man seldom knows what he can do until he tries to undo what he did.

(1881 – 1973) Spanish painter, sculptor, printmaker & stage designer
Activities

There is no halftime for cheerleaders!

Activities Sports

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house; I never slept alone until after I was married.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Marriage Situations Sleep

Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Activities Baseball Characteristics Sports

In Swan Lake, I was the lifeguard.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Activities Entertainment

People tell me how hard it is to stop smoking; I think it’s about as hard as it is to start flossing.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Autos Driving People Things

I don’t let men smoke in my apartment, but if I have a woman over she can barbecue a goat.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
Activities Women

The local density of mosquitos is inversely proportional to your remaining repellent.

Activities Murphy’s Laws

My first rule of consumerism is never to buy anything you can’t make your children carry.

American author
Activities Shopping

People don't know this but I helped the Cardinals win the pennant; I came down with hepatitis… the trainer injected me with it.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Activities Baseball Health Sports

I went on a job interview and the lady asked me if I’d pass a drug test; I said, “Yeah, if it’s written.”

American comedian
Drugs Work

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them; my mother cleans them.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Family Housework Mothers

I bought a million lottery tickets… I won a dollar.


Activities Money