Subject: Activities (Page 11)

He was so cheap, for example, that when Mary asked for diamonds for her birthday he bought her two of them… the eight and the queen.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Activities Frugal Money

I am the one in my family who does all the driving, because my husband never learnt to drive… in my opinion.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Activities Driving

Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.

(1899 – 1977) university dean, president & chancellor
Activities Exercise

“Belinda Carlisle sings, ‘We dream the same dream' … but I can’t believe that every night Belinda Carlisle has a wet dream about Wilma Flintstone.

(1964 – ) British comedian, novelist & television presenter
Activities Self Sleep

I'm starting to jog, but every time I do jog I have 9-1 pressed into my phone, with the next ‘1’ ready to be launched in case I drop.

(1965 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Activities Exercise

For sincere advice and the correct time, call any number at random at 3:00 a.m.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Activities Sleep Time

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish… and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
Activities TV/Movie Quotes

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Activities Age Exercise Young

One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Activities Characteristics Games Honesty

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Work

I knew these Siamese twins; they moved to England, so the other one could drive.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Driving England Places

Few men know how to kiss well. Fortunately, I've always had time to teach them.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Activities Sex

I'm busier than a stump full of ants.

Activities Situations

If you allow someone to get in front of you, you both will have the same destination, and the other car will get the last parking space.

Driving Murphy’s Laws

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Activities People Travel

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping; men invade another country.

(1952 – ) comedian
Eating Men People Shopping War Women

Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.


Activities Alcohol Food/Drink

The man has not been born for whom I will iron a shirt.

(1939 – ) English actress
Activities Housework Men

I'm often asked why I travel around the country talking politics: Is it for humanitarian reasons, community spirit, or is it for the money, the limousines or the girls? … The answers are: no, no, yes yes yes!

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Activities Government Politics Travel

Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Games

They say the best exercise takes place in the bedroom; I believe it, because that's where I get the most resistance.

comedian
Activities Exercise Sex