Subject: Activities (Page 15)

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people: the good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Characteristics Situations Sleep

Hot Potato is a very different game when the people playing are starving.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Food/Drink Games

The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
Autos Driving Intelligence Things

I can’t exercise for long; when I get back from a run my girlfriend usually asks if I’ve forgotten something.

comedian
Activities

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping; men invade another country.

(1952 – ) comedian
Eating Men People Shopping War Women

I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Activities Places Things Travel

Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Activities Drugs

There are three side effects of acid; enhanced long term memory, decreased short term memory… and I forget the third.


Activities Drugs Intelligence Memory

Do you know what’s easier than putting on sunscreen? … not going outside.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Activities

The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.

(1922 – 2007) American novelist
Housework Places

You might be a redneck if… you see a sign that says "Say No To Crack" and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Body Drugs People Rednecks

Basic research is what I am doing when I don't know what I am doing.

(1912 – 1977) German-born rocket engineer
Activities Work

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won’t get much sleep.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Animals Conflict Situations Sleep

Give a man a fish and he has food for a day; teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him forf the entire weekend.


Activities Sports

Don't cook… don’t clean; no man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Activities Housework Sex

You might be a redneck if… you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Activities People Rednecks Television

No, I'm not a good shot, but I shoot often.

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president
Activities

What do gardeners do when they retire?

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Activities

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people “the cops.”

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Alcohol Autos Driving Food/Drink Things

Life is something you do when you can’t get to sleep.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Life Situations Sleep

My wife… a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There are a pair of shoes on the dashboard. they belong to the last guy she hit.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Driving