Subject: Activities (Page 16)

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

Activities Autos Beliefs Problems Proverbs Travel

Hot Potato is a very different game when the people playing are starving.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Food/Drink Games

Sometimes in the middle of the night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down… or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Emotions Situations Sleep

The last time I drank, I drove into a ditch, which doesn't sound like that big of a deal, but I stopped at the ditch, looked left and right, then drove into the ditch.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Autos Driving Situations

Excuse the mess but we live here.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Activities Housework

I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Activities Animals Food/Drink

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her.

writer
Activities People Shopping Women

When traveling with children… at least one child of any number of children will request a rest room stop exactly halfway between any two given rest areas.

Activities Children Family Murphy’s Laws Travel

“Belinda Carlisle sings, ‘We dream the same dream' … but I can’t believe that every night Belinda Carlisle has a wet dream about Wilma Flintstone.

(1964 – ) British comedian, novelist & television presenter
Activities Self Sleep

Without drugs, I would have never got my job… selling drugs.


Activities Drugs Occupations Work

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Activities

I don't jog; if I die I want to be sick.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Activities Death

The only exercise I get is walking behind the coffins of friends who took exercise.

(1932 – 2013) Irish stage & film actor
Activities Exercise

Bridge is a friendly game invented by two married couples who disliked each other.

Activities Games

There are more fish taken out of a stream than ever were in it.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Activities Beliefs Honesty Lies

The only way to make up for being lost is to make record time while you are lost.

Activities Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws

You can’t wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

Activities Proverbs Sleep

I don’t let men smoke in my apartment, but if I have a woman over she can barbecue a goat.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
Activities Women

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man tired in mid afternoon.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Sleep

Sleep is death without the responsibility.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Activities Sleep

When you arrive at your chosen campsite, it is full.

Activities Murphy’s Laws