Subject: Activities (Page 17)

I was once arrested for walking in someone else’s sleep.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Situations Sleep

Cocaine isn’t habit forming; I should know, I’ve been taking it for years.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Activities Drugs

What, I’m gonna work all year so I can go out and pretend I’m homeless?

Activities

I'm busier than a stump full of ants.

Activities Situations

Exercise freaks… are the ones putting stress on the health care system.

(1951 – ) American conservative radio talk-show host
Activities Exercise People Stupidity

Follow seven beers with a couple of Scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it's funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own.

(1921 – 2001) Welsh comedian & singer
Activities Alcohol Drugs Sleep

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

(1953 – ) American singer, songwriter, actor, author & radio personality
Activities Alcohol

The fantasy of every Australian man is to have two women – one cleaning and the other dusting.

Australian comedian & actress
Housework People Women

If it feels good, it’s ugly. If it looks good, it hurts.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Shopping

When you need towns, they are very far apart.

Activities Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws Travel

Here we have a game that combines the charm of a Pentagon briefing with the excitement of double-entry bookkeeping.

internet columnist
Activities Games

He was so cheap, for example, that when Mary asked for diamonds for her birthday he bought her two of them… the eight and the queen.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Activities Frugal Money

The slowest checker is always at the quick-check-out lane.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping

You give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, but you teach a man to fish and you’ve saved yourself a fish haven’t you?”

(1968 – ) English comedian & actor
Activities

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man tired in mid afternoon.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Sleep

[Poker] as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you could find outside an advertising agency.

(1888 – 1959) detective novelist & screenwriter
Activities Communication Games

I’ve read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Communication Reading/Writing Shopping

I just did some serious cleaning in here; you could totally eat off this table.

Activities

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Health Intelligence Situations Sleep Wealth

Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Sports

He hasn’t an enemy in the world – but all his friends hate him.

(1892 – 1964) singer, dancer, comedian, actor & songwriter
Friends Insults People Shopping