Subject: Activities (Page 19)

People who say that money can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Emotions Happiness Money People Shopping

If fishing is a religion, fly fishing is high church.

(1940 – ) American television journalist & author
Activities

The most used appliance in our house is my 10-year-old son Leon's Xbox.

(1957 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Activities Things

They say the best exercise takes place in the bedroom; I believe it, because that's where I get the most resistance.

comedian
Activities Exercise Sex

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Activities Sex

We had different ideas as to what the problem was: she bought me Viagra; I bought her a treadmill.

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian, radio personality, author & actor
Activities Exercise Sex

We’re lost, but we’re making good time.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Activities Travel Yogi-isms

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Activities Sex

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.

(1937 – 2005) journalist & author
Alcohol Drugs Life Self

I was having difficulty deciding if I wanted to purchase this bed I was looking at, so the salesman told me… sleep on it.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Situations Sleep

Fishing License: Permit issued upon payment of a modest fee that allows fishermen to lose lures in a specified area.

Activities Definitions

How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Games Situations

I’d like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games; it’d be called ‘Really Busy Hospital.’

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Games

The strength of the turbulence is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Travel

A necessary item goes on sale only after you have purchased it at the regular price.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping Things

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Activities Beer Food/Drink

All bridge hands are equally likely, but some are more equally likely than others.

Activities Games Murphy’s Laws

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Activities Housework

Have you ever been dating anyone, and you think they're normal, and all of the sudden, they start freaking out on you?… yelling, 'Untie me!'

television writer, actor
Activities Dating Relationships

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Housework Situations World

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities