Subject: Activities (Page 20)

I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Activities Characteristics

Now what I don't get are these people who, instead of buying a four-pack or an eight-pack of toilet paper, they buy the single individual roll; are you trying to quit?

comedian
Shopping Situations

Life is something you do when you can’t get to sleep.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Life Situations Sleep

I also smoke a lot of pot… occasionally… every day.

(1966 – ) American actor, musician & comedian
Activities Drugs

I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs… like custom officers.

(1961 – ) English standup comedian, actor & writer
Activities Drugs

The vehicle in front of you is traveling slower than you are.

Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door.

writer
Activities Housework

The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with a light on.

Situations Sleep

There is only one thing worse than dreaming you are at a conference and waking to find that you are at a conference, and that is the conference where you can't fall asleep.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Sleep

If you can’t sleep, count sheep. Don’t count endangered animals. You will run out.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities Animals Sleep

How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Shopping Situations

I find apologizing for not having cleaned is easier than cleaning.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Housework

A British newspaper published a photo of Michael Phelps inhaling from a marijuana pipe; Phelps says he only took one hit, but he held it for three minutes.

(1952 – ) American fitness coach & educator
Activities Drugs

I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage!

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Activities Travel

I used to dread getting older because I thought I would not be able to do all the things I wanted to do, but now that I am older I find that I don't want to do them.

(1879 – 1964) British politician
Activities Age Old

Detour: Something that lengthens your mileage, diminishes your gas, and strengthens your vocabulary.

Activities Definitions Travel

Follow seven beers with a couple of Scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it's funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own.

(1921 – 2001) Welsh comedian & singer
Activities Alcohol Drugs Sleep

I could only teach him how to juggle his books.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Activities

Air Travel: Seeing less and less of more and more.

Activities Definitions

The gifts you buy your wife are never as appropriate as the gifts your neighbor buys his wife.

Husbands Murphy’s Laws Shopping Wives

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.

(1937 – 2005) journalist & author
Alcohol Drugs Life Self