Subject: Activities (Page 21)

Passport: A document treacherously inflicted upon a citizen going abroad, exposing him as an alien and pointing him out for special reprobation and outrage.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Activities Definitions Individuals Things Travel

It's better to go when you have to go – than to go and find you've already gone.

Children Murphy’s Laws Travel

The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Husbands Marriage Situations Sleep Wives

If it feels good, it’s ugly. If it looks good, it hurts.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Shopping

Dancing is a wonderful training for girls, it’s the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Activities Dance Education Girls Men People Women

The Manly Art of Knitting

Activities Book Titles

If I have an orgasm, I feel that I have to give six weeks of community service to various charities.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Activities Characteristics Sex

Giving up smoking is easy… I've done it hundreds of times.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Characteristics

We’re lost, but we’re making good time.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Activities Travel Yogi-isms

I backed a horse today at 20:1; it came in at twenty past four.

(1921 – 1984) British comedian & magician
Activities Sports

You don’t get spoiled if you do your own ironing.

(1949 – ) American actress
Activities Housework

Sleep is the best of both worlds: you get to be alive and unconscious.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Situations Sleep

No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

Money Murphy’s Laws Shopping Time

The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent.

(1927 – ) American cartoonist (Momma)
Children Family Travel

There's no real need to do housework – after four years it doesn't get any worse.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Housework Situations Work

My wife and I can never agree on holidays… I want to fly to exotic places and stay in five-star hotels… and she wants to come with me.

comedian
Activities Travel

I was once arrested for walking in someone else’s sleep.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Situations Sleep

Bowling: Marbles for grown-ups.

Activities Definitions

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Activities

They should call fishing what it really is… tricking and killing!

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Animals Language Sports

The label "NEW" and/or "IMPROVED" means the price went up.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping Things