Subject: Activities (Page 21)

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.

(1917 – 1993) British composer & novelist
Emotions Happiness Laughter Situations Sleep

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising… it was the only exercise I got.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Activities Alcohol Exercise Food/Drink Health

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

Activities Games Situations

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving you don’t actually live longer; it just seems longer.

(1924 – 2009) English broadcaster, writer, politician & chef
Activities Age Health Time

Let me ask you… would crack be so bad, and would people think so harshly of crack, if it were called 'crackle'?

(1968 – ) American actor & comedian
Activities Communication Drugs Language

Bargain: anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Money Shopping

Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Sleep

When you arrive at your chosen campsite, it is full.

Activities Murphy’s Laws

I’d rather lose at pinochle than win at solitaire.

(1914 – 2011) American politician
Activities Success

Life is a game, the object of which is to discover the object of the game.

Games Life Murphy’s Laws

What do gardeners do when they retire?

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Activities

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad; the good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
People Situations Sleep

Somebody once said that laughter is the best medicine, and that was clearly written by a man that never tried Vicodin.

(1959 – ) American comedian, comedy writer, actor & author
Activities Drugs Emotions Health Laughter

Exercise freaks… are the ones putting stress on the health care system.

(1951 – ) American conservative radio talk-show host
Activities Exercise People Stupidity

The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Activities Body

Basic research is what I am doing when I don't know what I am doing.

(1912 – 1977) German-born rocket engineer
Activities Work

I'm on a wrong-way street!

Driving Malaprops

Here we have a game that combines the charm of a Pentagon briefing with the excitement of double-entry bookkeeping.

internet columnist
Activities Games

There ain’t no way to find out why a snorer can’t hear himself snore.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Sleep

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Golf Sports

Eleven months’ hard work and one month’s acute disappointment.

British businessman & politician
Activities