Subject: Activities (Page 24)

1. The more tangled your line is, the better the fishing is around you. 2. The time available to go fishing shrinks as the fishing season draws nearer. 3. The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Corollary: The more elaborate and costly the equipment, the greater chance of having to stop at the fish market on the way home.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Sports

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: eat out.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Eating Food/Drink Housework

Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time; the man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Activities Definitions

I concentrate on exercises from the waist down, since that is the laziest part of a woman's body.

(1934 – ) American actress, singer & author
Activities Exercise People Women

There are two things no man will admit he cannot do well: drive and make love.

(1929 – ) English race car driver
Autos Driving Men People Sex

It is to be observed that ‘angling’ is the name given to fishing by people who can’t fish.

(1869 – 1944) Canadian economist & humorist
Activities

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

(1953 – ) American singer, songwriter, actor, author & radio personality
Activities Alcohol

Man is the only animal that plays poker.

(1889 – 1966) American humorist, writer, illustrator & cartoonist
Activities Animals People

Driving a Porsche in London is like bringing a Ming vase to a football game.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Autos Driving Places

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

Activities Autos Beliefs Problems Proverbs Travel

When in doubt, take the trick.

Activities Games Murphy’s Laws

Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.

(1899 – 1977) university dean, president & chancellor
Activities Exercise

I love Mexico because it’s a giant dollar store.

(1965 – ) American comedian
Places Shopping

Bus: A vehicle that runs faster when you run after it and runs slowly when you are inside it.

Definitions Driving

I never smoked a cigarette until I was nine.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Activities TV/Movie Quotes

One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Activities Characteristics Games

Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Communication Language Work

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish… and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
Activities TV/Movie Quotes

I get my exercise from acting as a pallbearer to my friends who exercise.

(1834 – 1928) American attorney for Cornelius Vanderbilt
Activities Death Exercise

Sex is like a game of bridge… if you don't have a good partner, you need a good hand.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Activities Games Sex

I went to a gym; they offered me free membership for life if I posed for a 'don't let this happen to you' poster.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor
Activities Exercise