Subject: Activities (Page 28)

Smoking is one of leading causes of statistics.

(1911 – 1993) columnist & novelist
Activities Science/Weather

I try to keep fit; I’ve got these parallel bars at home… I run at them and try to buy a drink from both of them.

(1954 – ) English comedian writer
Activities Alcohol Exercise Food/Drink

People will buy anything that’s one to a customer.

(1885 – 1951) American novelist, short-story writer & playwright
Activities Shopping Things

Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Activities Golf Sports

When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Activities Appearance Travel

The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Animals

My mother was so house proud that when my father got up to sleepwalk she had the bed made by the time he got back.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Family Housework Mothers

I make no bones about it; I need eight hours a day, and at least ten at night.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Activities Sleep

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad; the good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
People Situations Sleep

You know you are getting older when “Happy Hour” is a nap.

Activities Age Old Sleep

If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much – just an occasional sun visor.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Clothing Men People Shopping Women

A libertarian is just a Republican who takes drugs.

(1951 – ) American anarchist writer
Drugs Government People Politics

So drug dealers don’t find it funny when you ask for a receipt?

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Activities Drugs Situations

Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Activities Drugs

There is a very fine line between ‘hobby’ and ‘mental illness.’

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities

I’ve never been swimming, and that’s because it’s never been more than half an hour since I last ate.

(1967 – ) American comedian, actor, radio personality & author
Activities Eating Food/Drink Sports

There are more fish taken out of a stream than ever were in it.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Activities Beliefs Honesty Lies

Nature abhors a vacuum… and so do I.

American cartoonist & greeting card illustrator
Housework Situations Things Work

As soon as the stewardess serves the coffee, the airliner encounters turbulence.
Davis's Explanation of Roger's Law: Serving coffee on aircraft causes turbulence.

Murphy’s Laws Travel

It only hurt once… from beginning to end.

(1920 – 2004) American swimming coach
Activities Situations

Roulette: A wheel that seldom takes a turn for the bettor.

Activities Definitions Games