Subject: Activities (Page 3)

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Animals

The time to enjoy a European tour is about three weeks after you unpack.

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician
Activities Places Travel

There is such a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so that they can’t get away.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Activities

It is an undoubted truth, that the less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in.

Lord Chesterfield (1694 – 1773) British statesman
Activities Time

In order to live off a garden, you practically have to live in it.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Activities

Someone stole my antidepressants; whoever they are, I hope they’re happy.


Activities Drugs

I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Exercise Sleep

President Bush wants to spend $7 billion this year to fight the drug dealers in Colombia… but they only earn $3 billion a year; so why don't we pay them $4 billion a year not to grow the cocaine?

American comedian & writer
Drugs Money Places

I smoke 10 to 15 cigars a day, at my age I have to hold on to something.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Activities Age Old

I have to work out like a tri-athlete just to maintain chubby.

comedian
Appearance Body Exercise Fat

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Activities Age Exercise Young

Summer Camps: Those places where little boys go for mother’s vacation.

Activities Definitions

Atrophy: An award given to those who do not exercise.

Activities Definitions

Fishing: A delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

Activities Definitions

All the rudiments of success in life can be found in ironing a pair of trousers.

British boxing champion
Activities Life Success

Nothing annoys a woman more than to have company drop in unexpectedly and find the house looking as it usually does.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Housework People Situations

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising… it was the only exercise I got.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Activities Alcohol Exercise Food/Drink Health

Yoga is basically spending an entire hour trying to not fart.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian
Activities Time

I got a new shadow… I had to get rid of the other one… it wasn’t doing what I was doing.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Things

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in it's holder is a thrill.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Activities Age Old Sex

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.


Situations Sleep