Subject: Activities (Page 3)

The number of stones in your boot is directly proportional to the number of hours you have been on the trail.

Activities Murphy’s Laws

Bulb: A potential flower buried in autumn, never to be seen again.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Activities

The first word you see at the airport is “terminal.”

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Activities Things

Bridge: A game which gives women something to try to think about while they are talking.

Activities Definitions Games

They could have just had a massive pile of burning tires and more people would have turned up.

(1976 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Activities

Cab drivers are living proof that practice does not make perfect.

Activities Driving

I certainly do not drink all the time, I have to sleep you know.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Situations Sleep

When Neil Armstong first set foot on the moon, he and all the space scientists were puzzled by an unidentifiable white object; I knew immediately what it was… that was a home run ball hit off me in 1933 by Jimmie Foxx.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Activities Baseball Sports

I have no sex appeal; if my husband didn’t toss and turn, we’d never have had the kid.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Sex Situations Sleep

A family vacation is when you go away with the people you need to get away from.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Activities Relationships

I like to play chess with bald men in the park, although it's hard to find 32 of them.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Activities Situations

On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating… the other 20 percent lied.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Activities Golf Sports

Anybody who plays the stock market not as an insider is like a man buying cows in the moonlight.

(1797 – 1879) American businessman & speculator
Activities Money

It is to be observed that ‘angling’ is the name given to fishing by people who can’t fish.

(1869 – 1944) Canadian economist & humorist
Activities

Today is the first day of the rest of my push-up.

(1951 – ) American author, playwright & lyricist
Activities Exercise

How do you get off of a non-stop flight?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Things Travel

I believed in drug testing a long time ago… all through the Sixties I tested everything.

American baseball pitcher
Activities Baseball Drugs Sports

The traveller sees what he sees; the tourist sees what he has come to see.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Activities Travel

Bus: A vehicle that runs faster when you run after it and runs slowly when you are inside it.

Definitions Driving

Sucker: Is this a game of chance?

Fields: Not the way I play it, no.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Activities Characteristics Games

Set aside half an hour every day to do all your worrying; then take a nap during this period.

Situations Sleep