Subject: Activities (Page 30)

Fish: An animal that grows fastest between the time it is caught and the time a fisherman describes it to his friends.

Activities Animals Definitions

We can hike anytime; this is our chance to see cars driving.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Activities TV/Movie Quotes

With my ol’ man, I got no respect. He told me to start at the bottom. He was teaching me how to swim.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Mothers Self

Grocery list: What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Activities Definitions Shopping

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Activities Beer Food/Drink

The best accessory a girl can have is her best friend.

(1981 – ) heiress, socialite, media personality & model
Appearance Friends Travel

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it’s a sport.

(1932 – 2017) comedian, social activist, critic & writer
Activities Elections/Voting Government Places Sports

Marijuana should be licensed and kept out of the hands of teenagers; it's too good for them.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Activities People

My Big Sister Takes Drugs

Book Titles Drugs

Do you know what’s easier than putting on sunscreen? … not going outside.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Activities

There are three side effects of acid; enhanced long term memory, decreased short term memory… and I forget the third.


Activities Drugs Intelligence Memory

They say the best exercise takes place in the bedroom; I believe it, because that's where I get the most resistance.

comedian
Activities Exercise Sex

How do you get off of a non-stop flight?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Things Travel

I went to a record store, they said they specialized in hard-to-find records… nothing was alphabetized!

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Shopping Situations

He slept more than any other president… Nero fiddled, but Coolidge only snored.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Government Situations Sleep

I take him shopping with me… I say, 'OK, Jesus, help me find a bargain.'

(1942 – 2007) American televangelist (was married to Jim Bakker)
Activities Beliefs God Shopping

Action: The last resource of those who know not how to dream.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Activities

All buses heading in the opposite direction drive off the face of the earth and never return.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Travel

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys.

American comedian
Appearance Clothing Shopping

As soon as the stewardess serves the coffee, the airliner encounters turbulence.
Davis's Explanation of Roger's Law: Serving coffee on aircraft causes turbulence.

Murphy’s Laws Travel

I was in Connecticut recently… doing white people stuff.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Activities People