Subject: Activities (Page 31)

Patsy: Well, what am I supposed to do if you die?

Edina: Get cabs!

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
Driving TV/Movie Quotes

People often write me and ask how I keep my wood floors so clean when I live with a child and a dog, and my answer is that I use a technique called “Suffering From a Mental Illness.”

(1975 – ) blogger
Health Housework

You can't smoke in a restaurant in Los Angeles, which is mildly ironic, when you consider the fact that you can't breathe outside a restaurant in Los Angeles.

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
Activities

Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Sports

More Great Pantyhose Crafts

Activities Book Titles

Without drugs, I would have never got my job… selling drugs.


Activities Drugs Occupations Work

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys.

American comedian
Appearance Clothing Shopping

Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time; the man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Activities Definitions

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Activities Housework

Never, ever, fly on the airline of the country from which you are departing.

Murphy’s Laws Places Travel

I’m addicted to placebos; I’d give them up, but it wouldn’t make any difference.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Drugs

There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is to enjoy earning it.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Husbands Marriage Shopping Wives

The best accessory a girl can have is her best friend.

(1981 – ) heiress, socialite, media personality & model
Appearance Friends Travel

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it’s a sport.

(1932 – 2017) comedian, social activist, critic & writer
Activities Elections/Voting Government Places Sports

I was having difficulty deciding if I wanted to purchase this bed I was looking at, so the salesman told me… sleep on it.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Situations Sleep

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Activities Fools Intelligence

Show me a man who lives alone and has a perpetually clean kitchen, and 8 times out of 9 I’ll show you a man with detestable spiritual qualities.

(1920 – 1994) German-born author & poet
Beliefs Housework

Too much of a good thing can be taxing.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Activities Sex

I wrote my nightmares out this afternoon so I can get a good night’s sleep tonight.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Activities Sleep

What, I’m gonna work all year so I can go out and pretend I’m homeless?

Activities

Whenever two fishing lines are contiguous, they will become continuous.

Activities Murphy’s Laws