Subject: Activities (Page 31)

All really grim gardeners possess a keen sense of humus.

(1898 – 1951) Scottish humorist
Activities Wordplay

I love Mexico because it’s a giant dollar store.

(1965 – ) American comedian
Places Shopping

If you're too busy to go fishin', you're too busy.

(1908 – 2003) American actor & dancer
Activities TV/Movie Quotes

Now what I don't get are these people who, instead of buying a four-pack or an eight-pack of toilet paper, they buy the single individual roll; are you trying to quit?

comedian
Shopping Situations

Whatever carrousel you stand by, your baggage will come in on another one.

Murphy’s Laws Travel

The amount of sleep needed by the average person is five minutes more.

typographer
Activities Situations Sleep Time

Bus Driver: A person who tells people where to get off.

Activities Definitions Driving Occupations

A three-year-old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Activities Age Animals Children Young

I tried to throw a yo-yo away; it was impossible.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities Situations

Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
Activities TV/Movie Quotes

There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is to enjoy earning it.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Husbands Marriage Shopping Wives

Look around the table; if you don’t see a sucker, get up, because you’re the sucker.

Activities Games Murphy’s Laws

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Activities Games Money

Passport: A document treacherously inflicted upon a citizen going abroad, exposing him as an alien and pointing him out for special reprobation and outrage.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Activities Definitions Individuals Things Travel

Someone stole my antidepressants; whoever they are, I hope they’re happy.


Activities Drugs

First of all, if you are gambling and you've gotta get change for a nickel – it's over.

comedian
Activities Money

Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time; the man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Activities Definitions

Because of acid, I now know that butter is way better than margarine.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities Drugs

Childish Games: Those at which your wife beats you.

Activities Definitions Games

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.


Activities Emotions Happiness Money Shopping

If God wanted me to bend over, he’d have put diamonds on the floor.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Activities God