Subject: Activities (Page 33)

The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong – but that’s the way to bet.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Sports

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Activities Housework

Patsy: Well, what am I supposed to do if you die?

Edina: Get cabs!

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
Driving TV/Movie Quotes

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Activities Beliefs God Travel

Bus Driver: A person who tells people where to get off.

Activities Definitions Driving Occupations

Sometimes I get really lonely… especially when I'm throwing a Frisbee.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way.

(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist
Autos Driving Marriage Wives

I like to skate on the other side of the ice.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities

A man seldom knows what he can do until he tries to undo what he did.

(1881 – 1973) Spanish painter, sculptor, printmaker & stage designer
Activities

I was in Connecticut recently… doing white people stuff.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Activities People

If God wanted me to bend over, he’d have put diamonds on the floor.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Activities God

Identity Thief starts off moronic and then goes downhill.

British broadcaster, writer & film critic
Driving Reviews/Criticism

Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Sports

My friend died doing what he loved… heroin.

Canadian-American comedian, writer & columnist
Activities Death Drugs

Straight down the middle. No hook, no spin, no fuss. Anything more and this becomes figure skating.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
Activities TV/Movie Quotes

Housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door.

writer
Activities Housework

I took lessons in bicycle riding, but I could only afford half of them… now I can ride a unicycle.


Activities

Too much of a good thing can be taxing.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Activities Sex

It is to be observed that ‘angling’ is the name given to fishing by people who can’t fish.

(1869 – 1944) Canadian economist & humorist
Activities

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch on fire or block the refrigerator door, let it be; no one cares, why should you?

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Activities Housework

When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

Activities Games Men Murphy’s Laws