Subject: Activities (Page 34)

Nothing annoys a woman more than to have company drop in unexpectedly and find the house looking as it usually does.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Housework People Situations

Life is the only game in which the object of the game is to learn the rules.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Activities Games Life

I didn’t intend for this to take on a political tone; I’m just here for the drugs.

(1921 – ) former First Lady of the United States & actress
Drugs Misspokements

Hot Potato is a very different game when the people playing are starving.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Food/Drink Games

Some people talk in their sleep; lecturers talk while other people sleep.

(1913 – 1960) French-Algerian author, philosopher & journalist
Communication Situations Sleep Speech

The net weight of your boots is proportional to the cube of the number of hours you have been on the trail.

Activities Murphy’s Laws

There are two things no man will admit he cannot do well: drive and make love.

(1929 – ) English race car driver
Autos Driving Men People Sex

The one who snores will fall asleep first.

Murphy’s Laws Proverbs Situations Sleep

The one you want is never the one on sale.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Shopping

Bulb: A potential flower buried in autumn, never to be seen again.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Activities

Bus Driver: A person who tells people where to get off.

Activities Definitions Driving Occupations

Leisure tends to corrupt, and absolute leisure corrupts absolutely.


Activities

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Sleep Work

I gotta quit smoking, doctor’s orders… and the drinking, court orders.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Activities

At 19 miles, when most runners run out of steam and you hit what they call ‘the wall,’ is the exact moment you cross into the South Bronx; so here, they combine running and fleeing.

(1959 – ) American comedian, comedy writer, actor & author
Exercise Places Sports

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Activities Beliefs Games

I went to the store and bought eight apples; the clerk said, “Do you want these in a bag?” I said, “Oh, no, man, I juggle.”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities Situations

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

Activities Murphy’s Laws

Cocaine isn’t habit forming; I should know, I’ve been taking it for years.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Activities Drugs

My wife and I can never agree on holidays… I want to fly to exotic places and stay in five-star hotels… and she wants to come with me.

comedian
Activities Travel

Smoking is one of leading causes of statistics.

(1911 – 1993) columnist & novelist
Activities Science/Weather