Subject: Activities (Page 4)

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Housework Women Work

The cigarette smoke always drifts in the direction of the non-smoker regardless of the direction of the breeze.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Situations

When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.

Animals Cats Murphy’s Laws Sleep

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs Drugs God People

It's pretty much a bunch of people who don't live in a trailer park, yet like to vacation there.

comedian
Activities People

There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is to enjoy earning it.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Husbands Marriage Shopping Wives

I don’t room with him [Babe Ruth]; I room with his suitcase.

professional baseball player
Activities Baseball Misspokements Sports

1. The more tangled your line is, the better the fishing is around you. 2. The time available to go fishing shrinks as the fishing season draws nearer. 3. The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Corollary: The more elaborate and costly the equipment, the greater chance of having to stop at the fish market on the way home.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Sports

I’d rather lose at pinochle than win at solitaire.

(1914 – 2011) American politician
Activities Success

When I was in college, we did mushrooms and acid… and did I mention acid?

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Activities Drugs School

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad; the good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
People Situations Sleep

Someone stole my antidepressants; whoever they are, I hope they’re happy.


Activities Drugs

No one needs a vacation so much as the person who has just had one.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Activities

A three-year-old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Activities Age Animals Children Young

Golf has more rules than any other game, because golf has more cheaters than any other game.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Activities Golf Sports

Children have more energy after a hard day of play than they do after a good night's sleep.

Children Murphy’s Laws Situations Sleep

Racehorse: A fast means of redistributing wealth.

Activities Definitions

Most people are so lazy, they don't even exercise good judgement!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Exercise Work

I’ve decided to become gay… not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.

American comedian & actor
Activities Housework

When I was in high school, a “drive-by shooting” meant someone had their rear end hanging out a car window!

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Activities Age Young

The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Activities Colemanballs Misspokements Sports