Subject: Activities (Page 40)

Sex is like a game of bridge… if you don't have a good partner, you need a good hand.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Activities Games Sex

Now what I don't get are these people who, instead of buying a four-pack or an eight-pack of toilet paper, they buy the single individual roll; are you trying to quit?

comedian
Shopping Situations

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities

There’s no future in time travel.

Activities Future Past Time Travel

I travel a lot; I hate having my life disrupted by routine.

(1911 – ) American editor & writer
Activities Travel

A kind heart is of little value in chess.

Activities Murphy’s Laws

I was thinking of running a marathon, but I think it might be too difficult getting all the roads closed and providing enough water for everyone.

comedian
Activities Sports

Yoga is basically spending an entire hour trying to not fart.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian
Activities Time

The score never interested me, only the game.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Activities Games

Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Communication Language Work

Window Shopping: Eye browsing.

Activities Definitions Shopping

Airline travel is hours of boredom interrupted by moments of stark terror.

disc jockey, screenwriter & humorist
Activities Emotions Fear Travel

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it’s a sport.

(1932 – 2017) comedian, social activist, critic & writer
Activities Elections/Voting Government Places Sports

I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg… I thought: ‘This could be interesting.’

comedian
Activities Exercise

I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Activities Places Things Travel

I daydreamed that I was falling and, just before I hit the ground, I fell asleep.

comedian
Situations Sleep

Whatever arrangement you make for the division of household duties, your husband's job will be easier.

Housework Husbands Murphy’s Laws Wives

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Situations Sleep

Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Activities Sleep

“Belinda Carlisle sings, ‘We dream the same dream' … but I can’t believe that every night Belinda Carlisle has a wet dream about Wilma Flintstone.

(1964 – ) British comedian, novelist & television presenter
Activities Self Sleep

He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Food/Drink Situations Sleep