Subject: Activities (Page 41)

There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you’re anxious to meet people who do.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Travel

If you're too busy to go fishin', you're too busy.

(1908 – 2003) American actor & dancer
Activities TV/Movie Quotes

I was troubled by the presence of a shoe museum because it forced me to ask a very burning question: would my body be able to physically survive the amount of dope I would need to smoke in order to visit a shoe museum?

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Drugs Situations

I found an old swimming suit that I had made out of sponges; I remember one time I wore it in a pool, then I left and no one could go swimming until I came back.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Situations

Anything labeled "NEW" and/or "IMPROVED" isn't.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping Things

When I'm driving here I see a sign that says, CAUTION: SMALL CHILDREN PLAYING… I slow down, and then it occurs to me: I'm not afraid of small children.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Activities Situations

The man has not been born for whom I will iron a shirt.

(1939 – ) English actress
Activities Housework Men

Basic research is what I am doing when I don't know what I am doing.

(1912 – 1977) German-born rocket engineer
Activities Work