Subject: Activities » Shopping

I’ve read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Communication Reading/Writing Shopping

The first time you go out after your wife’s birthday, you will see the gift you gave her marked down fifty percent.
Corollary: If she’s with you, she’ll assume you chose it because it was cheap.

Husbands Money Murphy’s Laws Shopping Wives

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Marriage Problems Shopping Wives

Grocery list: What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Activities Definitions Shopping

If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

Husbands Murphy’s Laws Shopping Wives

If it feels good, it’s ugly. If it looks good, it hurts.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Shopping

Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Activities Shopping

How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Shopping Situations

He hasn’t an enemy in the world – but all his friends hate him.

(1892 – 1964) singer, dancer, comedian, actor & songwriter
Friends Insults People Shopping

I love Mexico because it’s a giant dollar store.

(1965 – ) American comedian
Places Shopping

People will buy anything that’s one to a customer.

(1885 – 1951) American novelist, short-story writer & playwright
Activities Shopping Things

A necessary item goes on sale only after you have purchased it at the regular price.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping Things

Consumer: One who delights advertisers by acquiring unnecessary products.

Definitions Shopping

The slowest checker is always at the quick-check-out lane.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Money People Shopping Women

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her.

writer
Activities People Shopping Women

If an item is advertised as "under $50," you can bet it's not $19.95.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping

I buy a dress because I need change for gum.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Activities Clothing Shopping

A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.

(1922 – 2018) comedian & actor
Activities Shopping Things Time

People will buy anything that's one to a customer.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys.

American comedian
Appearance Clothing Shopping