Subject: Activities » Shopping (Page 2)

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Shopping Things

You might be a redneck if… the Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment People Rednecks Shopping Television

I ask myself questions in those stores I don't ask myself anywhere else, like, 'Will I live long enough to use all those paper towels?'

American comedian & musician
Age Old Shopping

You ever go shopping for a really cute, little, sexy black dress – and you come home with an extra-large pepperoni pizza?


Shopping Situations

I liked Amsterdam… I spent $2,000 window shopping.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Places Sex Shopping

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’… On what?… On fire?

(1954 – ) American actress & comedian
Activities Clothing Shopping Situations Women

The most important item in an order will no longer be available.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping

A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.

(1922 – 2018) comedian & actor
Activities Shopping Things Time

The one you want is never the one on sale.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Shopping

The other line moves faster.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Shopping

I love Mexico because it’s a giant dollar store.

(1965 – ) American comedian
Places Shopping

The only time a woman has a true orgasm is when she’s shopping.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Activities Shopping

Never try to guess your wife's size. Just buy her anything marked ‘petite’ and hold on to the receipt.

Appearance Body Clothing Murphy’s Laws Shopping

When I was a kid, you ate, and you drank, and you passed out and nobody woke you up and said, 'Let's go shopping.'

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Activities Shopping

He hasn’t an enemy in the world – but all his friends hate him.

(1892 – 1964) singer, dancer, comedian, actor & songwriter
Friends Insults People Shopping

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her.

writer
Activities People Shopping Women

Grocery list: What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Activities Definitions Shopping

If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much – just an occasional sun visor.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Clothing Men People Shopping Women

Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Activities Shopping

Three o’clock in the morning, you can get truck tires, falafel and a bag of heroin – in the same store.

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian, radio personality, author & actor
New York City Places Shopping

People will buy anything that's one to a customer.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping