Subject: Activities » Shopping (Page 2)

I liked Amsterdam… I spent $2,000 window shopping.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Places Sex Shopping

The only time a woman has a true orgasm is when she’s shopping.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Activities Shopping

A necessary item goes on sale only after you have purchased it at the regular price.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping Things

If it feels good, it’s ugly. If it looks good, it hurts.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Shopping

Our culture teaches us to buy things we don't need, with money we don't have, to impress people we don't like.

(1946 – 2007) American entrepreneur
Activities Shopping

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Shopping Things

If you go to Bed Bath & Beyond without a coupon, people will wonder if you’re OK.

(1964 – 2014) American actor, Broadway performer & stand-up comedian
Activities Shopping

She took my son to Costco, bought 14 pounds of Oreos – and saved us money somehow.

American stand-up comedian
Marriage Money Shopping Wives

How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Shopping Situations

I went to buy some condoms today, and I said to the pharmacist, 'Excuse me, I need some condoms;' and he said, 'Just a minute,' and I said, 'Oh, that's my brand.'

American comedian & actor
Sex Shopping Situations

I ask myself questions in those stores I don't ask myself anywhere else, like, 'Will I live long enough to use all those paper towels?'

American comedian & musician
Age Old Shopping

Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Activities Shopping

Suzanne: I never use catalogs. I’d rather go in the store and see all the salespeople groveling and sucking up to you.

Julia: Pardon me, I never knew they were so solicitous at the K-Mart.

(1939 – 2010) American actress
Activities Shopping TV/Movie Quotes

He hasn’t an enemy in the world – but all his friends hate him.

(1892 – 1964) singer, dancer, comedian, actor & songwriter
Friends Insults People Shopping

People will buy anything that's one to a customer.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Marriage Problems Shopping Wives

If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much – just an occasional sun visor.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Clothing Men People Shopping Women

1. If you like it, they don't have it in your size. 2. If you like it and its in your size, it doesn't fit anyway. 3. If you like it and it fits, you can't afford it. 4. If you like it, it fits, and you can afford it, it falls apart the first time you wash it.

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws Shopping

You might be a redneck if… the Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment People Rednecks Shopping Television

Never try to guess your wife's size. Just buy her anything marked ‘petite’ and hold on to the receipt.

Appearance Body Clothing Murphy’s Laws Shopping

I’ve read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Communication Reading/Writing Shopping