Subject: Activities » Shopping (Page 2)

She took my son to Costco, bought 14 pounds of Oreos – and saved us money somehow.

American stand-up comedian
Marriage Money Shopping Wives

My first rule of consumerism is never to buy anything you can’t make your children carry.

American author
Activities Shopping

The label "NEW" and/or "IMPROVED" means the price went up.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping Things

Once again, we come to the holiday season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Beliefs Religion Shopping

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Activities Murphy’s Laws Shopping

I went to a general store, but they wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Shopping Things

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window; you may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

(1922 – 2003) author & playwright
Appearance Clothing Marriage Shopping

You ever go shopping for a really cute, little, sexy black dress – and you come home with an extra-large pepperoni pizza?


Shopping Situations

1. If you like it, they don't have it in your size. 2. If you like it and its in your size, it doesn't fit anyway. 3. If you like it and it fits, you can't afford it. 4. If you like it, it fits, and you can afford it, it falls apart the first time you wash it.

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws Shopping

He hasn’t an enemy in the world – but all his friends hate him.

(1892 – 1964) singer, dancer, comedian, actor & songwriter
Friends Insults People Shopping

If an item is advertised as "under $50," you can bet it's not $19.95.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping

Grocery list: What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Activities Definitions Shopping

In America, it's not how much an item costs, it's how much you save.

America Murphy’s Laws Shopping

I ask myself questions in those stores I don't ask myself anywhere else, like, 'Will I live long enough to use all those paper towels?'

American comedian & musician
Age Old Shopping

The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping

The first time you go out after your wife’s birthday, you will see the gift you gave her marked down fifty percent.
Corollary: If she’s with you, she’ll assume you chose it because it was cheap.

Husbands Money Murphy’s Laws Shopping Wives

The one you want is never the one on sale.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Shopping

If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

Husbands Murphy’s Laws Shopping Wives

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Shopping Things

People will buy anything that’s one to a customer.

(1885 – 1951) American novelist, short-story writer & playwright
Activities Shopping Things

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Money People Shopping Women